73 – The Third Man (1949)

Good man yourself.

Good man yourself.

The Third Man is a bout a drug runner in post war Vienna.The drug – Penicillin,the runner – Harry Lime (Orsen Welles).Okay so it’s not quite Johnny Depp in Blow but it is illegal and it is a bit of a scam.Lime is getting soldiers to steal penicillin from the military hospitals,then he’s watering it down to make it go further and selling it on at ฃ70 a bottle.Some hospitals end up using this stuff on women  and children and the women are dying during/after child birth and the kids with meningitis it gets used on go all retarded.So retarded they don’t show a single one in the film.The plot centers around Harry’s mate,Holly,who he invites over to Vienna with the promise of a job.Holly lands over and finds out Harry was ‘killed’ that day. Penny less and without a word of German or Russian the u.s. army say they can send him home the next day.Holly does some digging around and discovers the death may not have been accident.To make a long story short Harry faked his death to escape all the people looking for him for the bad drugs.Not a bad film,i think we had to watch this one too for film studies in college,loads of mise en scene and subtle stuff like light bulbs turning one when Holly gets an idea and various bells and noises to symbolize stuff.There’s a lot of dialogue in German and Russian and i turned on the subs thinking i’d get and advantage but it was not good just [German talking].

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD FOR ITS DAY.

142 – High Noon (1952)

Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to quit Amphetamines

Looks Like I Picked the Wrong Week to quit Amphetamines

Another western here,i can see why this was so high up the list.There are some really good cuts and transitions AND ,wait for it, it runs in real time.The first film i seen that ran in real time was Phonebooth and that was around 2002.You can really feel the tension build as the time ticks down.The plot is this;a Marshall of a small town put a crook down and he got sentenced to a hanging,guy got sent up north and it was reduced to life and now he got a pardon and is landing into town at noon on the train.His 3 buddies are already at the station waiting for him.Kane,the Marshall is trying to get a posse together to help him and spends the hour looking for some.He gets none.At noon shit goes down and we have a classic shoot out.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     MAYBE
OVERALL     –  OKAY.BUT I KEPT THINKING OF AIRPLANE EVERY TIME I SEEN BRIDGES.

156 – The Grapes of Wrath (1940)

Mind yer own fucking business buddy

Mind yer own fucking business buddy

To everyone who’s seen that episode when the internet breaks and everyone goes out “Californee way” then you’ve seen this film.That episode is taken straight from this film.With some scenes that are pretty much word for word i’m sure they had to pay royalties or something.The film is set during some sort of great depression or something and everyone’s loosing their farms because the land is shit.The whole country heads to California to get jobs picking fruit.The main buck just got out of jail after doing 4 years for killing a guy with a shovel.There’s a bit of drama along the way but the main message is stick together.There’s power in numbers and not let ‘The Man’ fuck you about.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD.BUT I JUST KEPT THINKING SOUTH PARK AND WAS LAUGHING AT SERIOUS SCENES.

159 – Into the Wild (2007)

there's about 6 pairs of tits in this film.and one of them happens to be Emile Hirsh.

there’s about 6 pairs of tits in this film.and one of them happens to be Emile Hirsh.

Sentimental horseshit. Sean Penn trying to make some Indie cult classic.This one’s about “travelling”.And some douche-bags quest to go right off the map.And as soon as he gets a bit stressed of fells like a third wheel he buggers off and leaves everyone hanging.Have a look at 20 minutes from the end when he meets Ron.Ron is a lonely old dude who makes a grand gesture towards buddy and Emile throws it right back in his face.Danny Elfman did the score for this one i think and it’s pure rubbish.Plus Kirsten Stewarts shows up as a horned up 16 year old spastic.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NO RE-WATCHABILITY.PURE CAC.

P.S. TRUE STORY TOO.

160 – Life of Brian (1979)

where the fuck's the thumbnail of the film?

where the fuck’s the thumbnail of the film?

Did you read the review i did of Ben-Hur?Then the life of Brian is exactly the same.LOB parodies the crap out of Ben-Hun.LOB was illegal and banned in the U.K. for ages due to the religiousness of the plot.But when you brake it down i think they dont even say Jesus once in trhe film and he’s only in the background in 2 scenes.There a great making of this film.I’d say its actually better than the film.Buddy Chapman died pretty soon after doing this.Alcoholic i hear.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     7.9
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  I’M BRIAN.

161 – Finding Nemo (2003)

good monthy python reference

good monthy python reference

Finding Nemo is a cartoon about single parent familys.Where the fuck is Nemos mom?She died in the first scene?Walt Disney and your killing off of strong maternal figures in films.Bambi shit.This is one dark film.The scene with the sharks is fucking hilarious.It took me about 30 minutes to realize this is Australian film.Set in Sydney.Then i got thinking why the fuck does Nemos dad have an American accent?Then i thought about the whole absurnity of speaking fish and left it at that.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  A GOOD FILM.ONE FOR THE ADULTS.

164 – My Neighbor Totoro (1988)

i found this whole bath scene a bit weird

i found this whole bath scene a bit weird

My Neighbor Totoro is about a family who move to a new house in the woods. Totoro means troll in Japanese.But this troll can show himself to people that he wants to,otherwise he’s invisible. This is a good studio Ghibli so you know it’s going to have that aesthetic beauty to it.There are a few plot bits missing in the story. Throughout the film the family are visiting there mother in the hospital but we never find out what it is.It’s implied she’s been there for ages too.Great music in the film,sounds like an old snes game or something.Dakota fanning did some voice work on this.She was born 1994 and this film came out 1988…             I guess this film maybe had a later release date for an English dub.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GOOD.A CLASSIC KIDS FILM.SOME INTERESTING CHARACTERS.I.E THE CAT BUS

166 – Dial M for Murder (1954)

This one's like an early Kirsten Stewart with her permanently stoned acting

This one’s like an early Kirsten Stewart with her permanently stoned acting

Hitchcock again here and this one’s a corker.It seems this film is the complete opposite of Rope that was on the list earlier.In this one the main guy devises a plot to kill his wife and get the insurance.The plan is almost too perfect and he’s too cold and calculated.But in true Hitchcock style;the shit hits the fan.The only real fault in the film is this blonde ones acting.She’s  perpetually stoned or retarded or doped to the gills. I’m not sure what year this films set but women weren’t walking around like zombies.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     8.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  EXCELLENT.KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR OLD TUBBYS CAMEO.

168 – Ben-Hur (1959)

....meet my wives....

“Ben,let me make you a burger.Pick one.”

Ben-Hur is a religious film about a guy called jesus Ben-Hur.Ben has a bit of bad luck at the start of the film which fucks stuff up for him throughout the whole film.But like in the film ‘Barry Lydon’ Ben gets back on his feet and finds himself getting into a position of power.Ben was a Jew and that’s what got him into trouble.A slate fell off his roof and hit a roman on the head and he got into shit for it mainly because he’s Jewish.In his travels he acquires a new name and returns to avenge the guy that fucked him over and find his family he had left behind in the beginning.You see Jesus pop his head up two or three times in the film,it’s a bit like Life Of Brian – a film about Jesus without him really being in it.I wouldn’t be mad into religion and the musical score fells like you’re at mass too.The race scene with all the horses is done really well.You’d never be able to do it nowadays.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     6.4
SEEN BEFORE     –   NO
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  LEPERS!LEPERS!NO ONE LIKES THE LEPERS IN THIS.I LAUGHED.

169 – The Terminator (1984)

The Terminator,polite as fuck.

The Terminator,polite as fuck.

The Terminator is an eighties movie that seems like it was filmed at the tail end of the 70’s.The plot of a time travelling machine sent back to kill the mother of a future Resistance leader is pretty original.But there’s some shots that look pretty good then there’s the special effects that let it down majorly. In scenes where arnie is poking around his eye of looking at something up and down we clearly see he’s made of play-doh or something.I find it hard to believe that in the future the dogs are the only things that can spot them.Anyone who can see 6 inches in front of their face would pick a terminator out of a line up.Another thing i noticed near the end was all the stop motion bits of the terminator model,why the hell was that in the film?Did they just build the head and shoulders terminator prop ?

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     7
SEEN BEFORE     –   YES
RECOMMEND?     –    YES
OVERALL     –  ORIGINAL.SOME SFX LET IT DOWN.LINDA HAMILTON GETS HER TITS OUT TOO.