96 – Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

Indy and his dad have a quick three-way.

Indy and his dad have a quick three-way.

Indiana Jones is a hardcore pornographic film focusing on the life and times of a nymphomaniac called Diana Jones.I wish.No,but seriously I’ve probably seen this film about 4 times now and i don’t know if it’s the old age or what,but i don’t remember seeing that bit at the start with River Phoenix in it.I thought i had downloaded the wrong film or something.It’s a flashback to when Indy was a kid and busted some tomb raiders and not the sexy kind.He also doesn’t give a shit about snakes,he even handles about 3 in this short segment.Why’s he got beef with them when he’s older?As the story goes Indys is kidnapped by some Nazis who are looking for the Holy Grail.His dad mailed Indy his diary which has a load of clues for finding it and that’s kind of the incentive for the kidnapping.Get Indy to come and find his dad and bring the book.There’s some great one liners along the way,one of the more notable ones is the “no ticket” after he chucks a guy out of a blimp.There’s a bit of distance between Indy and his dad but as the film progresses they bond and everyone lives happily ever after.I was going to say its one of the better trilogy’s out there but then i remembered about that god awful Crystal Skull re-boot and my heart sunk.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.2
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

242 – The Untouchables (1987)

Can't touch this

Can’t touch this

This is a good film.First one I’ve really watched and thought ‘shit, how’d i miss this one?’.At just under 2 hours long i was expecting some shit godfather type rubbish but this is well paced with no unnecessary filler.Some pretty good acting from James Bond himself , the good Bond not the crap one (you know who you are Roger Moore) and a stellar haircut on Kevin Costner.I noticed on the credits at the beginning that Gorgio Armani did the wardrobe/costume and credit to it.There was a couple of pitfalls in the film, notably the police chiefs poor poor Irish accent and the fact that some people can take 1 bullet to die while others can survive until after lunch next Wednesday.When i typed up this thing i had to double check the date 1987,holy fuck i thought it was a mid nineties film.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     8.2
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

Oh yeah , i didn’t get the whole Al Capone thing.Everyone knew he was a crook.The media loved him,dozens of journos were hanging round him laughing at his jokes,and he was rolling in cash yet it took fucking ages to bust him.WTF?Nowadays the c.a.b. would take his shit and put him in jail.End of.