8 – Schindler’s List (1993)

If there's tits in a film i'll find them.

If there’s tits in a film I’ll find them.

Schindler’s List is a romantic comedy in which Liam Neeson plays Schindler,a man who loses his memory every night when he falls asleep.He relies on a complex series of notes and lists to function in modern day Miami.Rob Schneider plays the love interest. Actually nothing could be further from the truth.Here we have movie 6 i think that’s about the Holocaust .Schindler is a businessman who runs a pots and pans factory with a Jewish workforce.This is all during world war 2 and as you may or not know the Germans weren’t the Jews biggest fans.So Neeson tries to help them by giving them a job.If you’re a skilled worker then you won’t be shipped off to the camps or Auschwitz. There’s a lot of bribery going on and Neeson spends all his money/valuables in order to try and help them. Ralph Fiennes plays a sadistic Nazi guy in this who takes pleasure in killing Jews for no reason.Bad fucker.When Neeson show s a bit of compassion for the Jews and treats them like humans Fiennes has him taken in for questioning to see if he’s a sympathizer. The movie has quite a lot of people getting killed and the brutality of the Nazi is fucking depressing and keep in mind this is all a true story.I got a bit teary eyed at one point during the film,i had bug spray on my finger and itched my eye.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    8.2
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

51 – The Pianist (2002)

The Nazi guy is executing some Jews and runs out of bullets,i'd hate to be the next guy waiting to get shot.

The Nazi guy is executing some Jews and runs out of bullets,i’d hate to be the next guy waiting to get shot.

Now here’s a film that gets my goat. I’m not saying it’s a bad film,it’s just when you put a face on an atrocity like genocide it just makes me hate humanity. I mean this was only 70 years ago but the brutality and cold heartedness just sickens me.This film is very close to Life is Beautiful on the list,also about the holocaust,and maybe it’s by watching these two close together that has depressed me a bit.Shit,i bet Schlinders list is till to come too.The Pianist is based on a real person,who died in 2000,who managed to survive some 8-9 years of ducking and diving from the Germans.First he’s put in the ghetto,then he’s getting shipped of to the camps but a friends pulls him from the line,then he’s hiding in an allies house,then moved to another.As Warsaw gets bombed and overrun with Germans he finds himself hiding opposite the Hospital and barracks.He does get into some ropey situations but the main thing that’s going to kill him is starvation.There’s not much piano playing after the first 30 minutes.Near the end when it seems like he’s fucked,a German of all people helps him survive the final weeks of the war.Like the opening shot of Brody playing the piano it ends with him playing us out.Albeit this time to a packed concert hall with a whole symphony behind him.

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    7.8
RECOMMEND?     –     NO

56 – Life Is Beautiful (1997)

You wouldn't away with this now a days.You'd be arrested and signing on the sex offenders list for life.

You wouldn’t away with this now a days.You’d be arrested and signing on the sex offenders list for life.

Life Is Beautiful is a bit of a misleading title for this film.After watching the last last 30 minutes i think a more apt title would be Life Is Shit. I’ve never seen this film before but i bought a copy on DVD for my parents once because it was popular at the time and had gotten a few awards.For anyone who doesn’t know the plot,it’s about a family who gets shipped off to a concentration camp by the Nazis./sounds sad right?The main character,the dad,is called Guido and he is a Jew. His wife is an Italian and they have a young son too that is also shipped off to the camp.The mother pleads to go with her family.Guido is a charming upbeat guy who seems to live in a fantasy,there’s something very whimsical about him.And it’s with his up beat attitude and constant games he’s playing that the whole concentration camp thing doesn’t really effect you on a personal level.Even his final moments i felt distanced from the whole thing.The film came out in 1997 but the whole feel and look of it makes it seem like it’s from the eighties.

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    8.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

113 – Inglourious Basterds (2009)

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

Tarantino takes a stab at World War II here in Inglourious Basterds.I’ve tried to watch this film some 6 times now and I’ve either fallen asleep or lost interest and turned it off.Even this time i had to watch it in two parts because i fell asleep.Maybe it’s the length because it’d dead boring but either way – not a fan.Tarantino does his usual shit by adding unessessary bits and pieces everywhere.For example the title screens breaking the film into chapters.Why the fuck does he keep doing that?What’s the point of it?He did it in Kill Bill too.I can’t remember if he did in Django or not.Also having the name of one of the SS super imposed on the screen with an arrow pointing at him,retarded.Are you 6 years old?One more bit,when lars meets Soshanna for the second time we have a flash back to the opening scene where she gets away,Tarantino you prick i can remember back 40 minutes ago stop spoon feeding the viewer.Now the story,there’s a plot to kill Hitler.A U.S. team of Nazi killers plans to blow up a cinema.Also a Jew plans to burn the same cinema on the same night.That’s it.The rest is filler.A good 2 hours of filler.There was a plot hole i spotted but i can’t remember it now.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    6.7
RECOMMEND?     –     NO