78 – Once Upon a Time in America (1984)

Noodles see his first vagina.I remember when i first seen one a couple of years ago,after i stopped getting sick it wasn't too bad.

Noodles see his first vagina.I remember when i first seen one a couple of years ago,after i stopped getting sick it wasn’t too bad.

How i dispise panpipes and Sergio Leone sticks a good load of them into your ear balls throughout.This film is long,over three and three quarter hours.I pity anyone trying to watch this on t.v.It played in Ireland and i remember Tony telling me it was 5 hours long.OUATIA is the classic tale of some new york kids growing up and having a gang/racket.Ir seemed strange when i watched the title credits and all the 5-6 writers are either italina or have italina names.But good writing anyway.I think the film could have been split into two parts,there’s no filler realy in the whole film.So maybe two films with another side story would have been good.The gang of kids get into trouble with a neighbourhood rival called Bugsy.He shoots and kills a young kid,he looks no more than 12,and Noodles(De Niro) retaliates and nkifes him and a cop who tries to stop him.He gets sent down for what i make to be 15 years.When he gets out he looks about 40 and his love interest,Debra,looks about 20,even though there was about 3-4 years between them when he got locked up.Jail must age a man.Back to Debra,she has the look of a doped up person with major mental disabilities and its this retardedness i attribute to her accent swinging from American to Posh English.Her voice has this really deep tone to it too,i’m not sure why.Whe n noodles gets out of jail all the guys are waiting for him and have invested the grouos money and have some good stuff going for them.The probition is on and they have a bar and bootleg booze.Fastforward 35 years.Noodles is back,why?,figure it out.Debra is played by the same actress and still looks 20.No grey hair no drastic mackup no nothing.While as while as i make Noodles to be 61 now.He looks it.Also you can’t have a De Niro film without Joe Pesci who pops up for two scenes.The second one doesn’t even need to be there.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

140 – Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998)

I'll just throw my box of stuff right down these strairs

I’ll just throw my box of stuff right down these

stairsA Guy Richie film,fuck where do i begin?I think if you’re going to watch one of his films do just that.Watch ONLY one because they all have the exact same plot.There’s two groups ,good guys and bad guys.The good guys get fucked over by the bad guys and have X amount of days to sort it.They finally sort it.They they get ripped off or there’s a shoot out.Things look bad and finally it all works out okay in the end.All the while this formula is set in a London gangster scene.Throw in 200 classic indie tracks and wahey you have a Guy Richie film.On wait i forgot,you need a voice over because evidently you’re not being spoon fed enough.No character development.No fatal flaws.No nothing.I find his films tripe and I’ve seen them all.But i can see how they appeal to the masses.Load enough music and drug references and Joe-public will like it.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –    7
RECOMMEND?     –     NO

242 – The Untouchables (1987)

Can't touch this

Can’t touch this

This is a good film.First one I’ve really watched and thought ‘shit, how’d i miss this one?’.At just under 2 hours long i was expecting some shit godfather type rubbish but this is well paced with no unnecessary filler.Some pretty good acting from James Bond himself , the good Bond not the crap one (you know who you are Roger Moore) and a stellar haircut on Kevin Costner.I noticed on the credits at the beginning that Gorgio Armani did the wardrobe/costume and credit to it.There was a couple of pitfalls in the film, notably the police chiefs poor poor Irish accent and the fact that some people can take 1 bullet to die while others can survive until after lunch next Wednesday.When i typed up this thing i had to double check the date 1987,holy fuck i thought it was a mid nineties film.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     8.2
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

Oh yeah , i didn’t get the whole Al Capone thing.Everyone knew he was a crook.The media loved him,dozens of journos were hanging round him laughing at his jokes,and he was rolling in cash yet it took fucking ages to bust him.WTF?Nowadays the c.a.b. would take his shit and put him in jail.End of.