11 – Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back(1980)

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Han it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Hans face it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Like the Lord of The Rings trilogy I’m just after watching these jumbled up again.I think it was third-first then second.This one was my favourite.Comparing it to the first one,this looked way more polished and the special effects were a step above A New Hope.The over all look of the film was great,a lot more crisp i thought.I was looking to see if there was any difference between the camera or processing specs for this and A New Hope and all i could find was this one had Panavision.Maybe i just had a low resolution version of the previous film.About the film,well we have all the cronies back together and still hanging out with the rebels.The opening scene i burst out laughing when Luke gets a slap in the face from a Yeti.Yes a fucking Yeti.Darth Vader is at it again and is hunting down Luke to try and make him join the dark side,but Luke’s off training with Yoda. Yoda is one weird little fucker,hard to get a straight answer out of him and he pisses off Luke by acting like idiot.On the whole a good film,Lucas took a step back from this one and i see him with only two credit-Story By and Producer all the rest like screenplay and direction are by other bucks.

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.3
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

16 – Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)

Here's an ad for MasterCard i spotted.

Here’s an ad for MasterCard i spotted.

I was about 5 minutes in and i had to stop the film to see if i had downloaded the right film.Lucas just throws you into the film,there’s no hanging about,that’s why i thought i had the fifth or sixth in the series.I didn’t. Lucas knows how to write a good story i’ll give him that.It’s got adventure, action, comedy and a few other bits that i thought stood out,maybe for the wrong reasons,like when Luke finds his aunt and uncles and they look like they’re just after climbing out of an oven in Auschwitz. Gruesome. Like all films there’s a few bits and pieces i’ll mention,I’ll start with the good.The special effects:You can see Lucas is trying to go the extra mile and will put in the effort to have set pieces where he can and will have some really nice props,be it costumes/suits/aliens or what ever in lieu of CGI.I noticed a small plot hole,well maybe not a hole,but Ben mentions when they find the scavengers truck in the desert that the holes and blaster damage is definitely from Stormtroopers because it’s so accurate.Accurate my ass,them Stormtroopers couldn’t hit a target 2 metres in from of themselves.In one scene where Han and Cheewie run back there’s 6-7 of them when he turns a corner and not one of the buggers gets a shot close to him.And i’ll finish up with a question.If Darth vader is the last Jedi and is pretty powerful does he know Luke and Leia are his kids?Surely he must,he was there when they were made wasn’t he.

IMDB RATING      –     8.7
MY RATING     –    8.4
RECOMMEND?     –     YES

P.S. The Wilhelm Scream , well done mr Lucas i think i heard it about 5 times.

81 – Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

This is meant to be some gross alien with 6 boobs,but in reality it's what white trash american women look like.

This is meant to be some gross alien with 6 boobs,but in reality it’s what white trash american women look like.

I haven’t seen Star Wars since i was a kid so i didn’t know what really happened in the 2 films before this.The thing i like about George Lucas is he’s goes a bit mad with the transitions and wipes between scenes.Most films will have a simple dissolve or fade to black but Lucas has dozens of differnt ones.Return of The Jedi has some great costumes and props,there’s a lot to be said for taking the time and effort and making a full body suit of an alien than just popping one in in post production like that atrocious Jar-Jar Binks.For some reason i thought there was  aspin off movie called The Battle For Endor,was there?It rings a bell,i thought i had it on VHS as a kid,but in all reality it was probably Return of The Jedi and the furry midgets were the only thing i remembered.The plots okay,but is it not the same as the last film?,there was a couple  of bits that had me asking questions.Like when Darth Vader throws the emporer down the hole could he not use the force and land safely or something?Luke levitated C3PO for about a minute earlier and it was no sweat.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.1
RECOMMEND?     –     YES