23 – Se7en (1995)

Heisenberg shows up in police sketch

Heisenberg shows up in police sketch

Se7en is a great film overall.I don’t know who decided on the name but it sounds like an all boy pop band or something.Good acting from all parties;Pitt,Freeman and even Spacey.Yes even Spacey.He looks normal in this one so it must be before the plunger incident.The look of the film is pretty dark with a lot of colour correction to a green tint.They do this in a few films to give it a grimy look.Just look at Fight Club and you’ll see what i mean,green walls with holes all over,paint hanging off and loads of stuff similar to this that the set people would have to do.Paint a wall normal then peel off the paint for this look.Where am i going with this?No where.There’s a Nine Inch Nails music video over the credits,not credited either. Palthrow i don’t usually like but in this she’s okay.There is one scene where she tells Freeman about the baby that her voice drops about 4 octaves. I’m not sure if this is a mic issue or if her balls dropped but it spoiled the scene for me.She sounded like Princess Amadalla from Star Wars.One last thing that was down right retarded was the final scene with the helicopter escort.If you could take a moment and just focus on what they’re saying.Firstly when the car drives off they talk about it being at 10 O’clock and driving away,i think think they would be using north/east/west or whatever,know what i mean?If the helicopter turns a little to the left the directions are useless,but west and east are constant.Secondly they say “stay on the guy in the red”,seriosly,the guy in the red?How about stay on the suspect,the witness or John Doe.Thirdly they say they can’t land but then he says land,and finally as Mills kills the Doe they say some thing like ‘oh shit,get someone, anyone ,oh no,who can we call’.If these were professionals they would know what to do,eh training,and  just radio base and explain the situation.Oh one last this,the credits are run in reverse.Hard to read.Whats it symbolise?

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    8.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GOOD.THINK ABOUT THIS~IMAGINE THEY SWITCHED SPACEY AND FREEMANS CHARACTERS…

111 – Snatch (2000)

This is a retarded scene.The case is handcuffed to a dead guy.What do you do?Chop off his hand and slip off the cuffs?Wrong.You cut off his arm and carry it around with the case still cuffed to it.Richie grow a fucking brain.

This is a retarded scene.The case is handcuffed to a dead guy.What do you do?Chop off his hand and slip off the cuffs?Wrong.You cut off his arm and carry it around with the case still cuffed to it.Richie grow a fucking brain.

Plot holes,plot holes and more plot holes. Fuck,where do i begin?Lets see,okay,Tommys little monologue about cows and how the human digestives system hasn’t got used to dairy products is bullshit.May i refresh your memory buddy;breast milk and breast feeding,ring a bell?And then there’s the issue of the 2 replica guns.Replica guns that can shoot blanks?Come on Richie what do you take the viewer for?As for the Russian let me ask you this question.You have your hands cuffed together and a bag on your head and you escape,what’s the first thing you do?Bring your hands up to your head and remove the bag?No.You run around blind and early in the film Boris agrees to pay the two black guys 50 grand for the job and when they do it he says “here’s the 10 grand as agreed” where the fuck is the other 40?Also a replica gun can blow 4 windows in a car out in 1 shot while as an actual gun shot 3 times six inches from a window does nothing.It’s retarded stuff like this that makes this movie un-watchable for me.There’s a thousand things wrong with this film and only one right thing.Brad Pitts pikey character,great accent and every scene is pretty good.I won’t go into the plot too much but it follow the basic Richie formula:London gangsters,good guys owe money,things look bad,okay in the end.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY LIKE SNATCH AS ITS FAR UP ON THE LIST.PERSONALLY IT’S NOT FOR ME.

113 – Inglourious Basterds (2009)

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

Tarantino takes a stab at World War II here in Inglourious Basterds.I’ve tried to watch this film some 6 times now and I’ve either fallen asleep or lost interest and turned it off.Even this time i had to watch it in two parts because i fell asleep.Maybe it’s the length because it’d dead boring but either way – not a fan.Tarantino does his usual shit by adding unessessary bits and pieces everywhere.For example the title screens breaking the film into chapters.Why the fuck does he keep doing that?What’s the point of it?He did it in Kill Bill too.I can’t remember if he did in Django or not.Also having the name of one of the SS super imposed on the screen with an arrow pointing at him,retarded.Are you 6 years old?One more bit,when lars meets Soshanna for the second time we have a flash back to the opening scene where she gets away,Tarantino you prick i can remember back 40 minutes ago stop spoon feeding the viewer.Now the story,there’s a plot to kill Hitler.A U.S. team of Nazi killers plans to blow up a cinema.Also a Jew plans to burn the same cinema on the same night.That’s it.The rest is filler.A good 2 hours of filler.There was a plot hole i spotted but i can’t remember it now.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    6.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  FASSBENDER AND WALTZ ARE EXCELLENT,BUT TWO GREAT ACTORS COULDN’T SAVE THE FILM FOR ME.

178 – Twelve Monkeys (1995)

these board games are so crazy they have to be kept in a cage

these board games are so crazy they have to be kept in a cage

Twelve Monkeys is another gem by Terry Gilliam. I do have some major gripes with time travel films but this is the only one that gets it right in my opinion.Can’t change the past or the future it’s already set out,the complete opposite of Back to The Future. That’s not to say i don’t enjoys the exploits of Marty McFly. I’ve seen 12 monkeys about half a dozen times and i think maybe that’s too much.Maybe twice is okay.The plot is; in a future (around 2035) where a virus has nearly wiped out mankind people have taken to living underground.A group of scientists have developed a time machine and send ‘volunteers’ back to find out how and where the virus broke out.So they can find a cure in their present time ,2035.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     8.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GREAT.EXCELLENT ACCORDION SCORE,VERY 1900’S PARISIAN.