67 – Intouchables (2011)

As per-usual with every French film you can see the Eiffel Tower out of the window.

As per-usual with every French film you can see the Eiffel Tower out of the window.

I was looking through some film trailers on IMDb about half a year ago and the trailer for this film piqued my interest.So i downloaded it and then started this list and forgot to watch it,until now,and i have to say that’s it’s an excellent film.It’s based on a true story and has some actual footage at the very end of the two people it’s based on.The story is about a tetraplegic who lost the use of his limbs in a paragliding accident.He’s a very wealthy but we never find out what he does or how he came to be rich.He hires a guy who’s a bit rough around the edges,coarse language,smokes joints and has weapons in his bag,but he likes him and they seem to get on pretty well and establish a good rapport. Driss,the helper,has some troubles at home.His mother/aunt is a single parent with too many kids and a teenage son who’s falling in with the wrong crowd.She’s having trouble supporting the family and kicks Driss out. Driss is no saint either,having just been released from prison for serving a 6 month stretch for a jewellery robbery.But the new job sets him on the straight and narrow.It’s a heart warming tale and it’s got some great bits of humour,the second last scene in the film where Driss shaves buddy is hilarious.

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    8.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  A GOOD WRONG-SIDE-OF-THE-TRACKS-GUY-MAKES-GOOD STORY.HEART WARMING.

97 – Raging Bull (1980)

The way Jack keeps trying to crack onto this 15 year old they should change the title to "Under-aging Bull"

Jake hooks up with a 15 year old girl.Raging Bull?More like UNDERaging Bull.

Another fight movie here,not so much focusing on the fights but more on the fighter,Jake La Motta.It’s all a true story too.Where to begin?At the start of the film Jake has the hots for this 15 year old,which i thought was weird because Jake has to be nearly 40.Wrong.I checked on wikipedia and Jake was only 19 but De Niro was 37 so that’s what threw it for me.Jake already has a wife when he meets this new chick,he treats his wife like shit and is the biggest douche in America in my opinion.Joe Pesci is in this too playing Joe Pesci,well actually he’s Jakes brother but in every film Pesci is the same character.It’s like he was plucked right out of Casino and dropped into this film.Jakes a good fight and hammers everyone but has some insecurities about women,oh and he divorces his old wife and takes up with the new one when she hits 18.He fights a bit,,shouts at his wife a bit and is generally a prick.When he gives up boxing he opens a club and lets little girls in and ‘introduces’ them to guys.Girls who are 14 in an over 21 club.This is all still a true story.After all said and done Jake takes up stand up comedy.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NOT MY CUP OF TEA.

99 – The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Kallyoke anyone? You like  Bohemian Rhapsody?

Kally-oké anyone? You like Bohemian Lhapsody?

Another war movie here and i took the liberty to check the Wiki for what war it was this time.It’s WWII.There’s this Japanese P.O.W. camp and there’s a good load of British prisoners here.Let’s say about 200.There’s a Japanese head honcho called Saito and he calls the shots and doesn’t think twice about saying ‘fuck the Geneva convention i’m going to shoot you’.The P.O.W.’s are tasked with building a bridge of the Kwai and have 3 months to do it.So naturally the lads all goof off and work super slow so they will delay the construction.Then there’s a this pompous British asshole Colonel (and how the fuck is that pronounced cur~nel?)who fuck everything up.Firstly he tells the Japs there bridge is designed wrong and placed in the wrong part of the river.This is after the Jap guy says if its not done on time he has to kill himself.He then redesigns it into a super bridge and increases the prisoners work quota.It gets worse.There’s a bunch of British commandos tasked with blowing it up.They plant explosives and plan to blow it up when the first train goes over in the morning.The Colonel is walking along the bridge,last minute checks,and notices a wire,naturally he calls the douche Japanese head buck and tells him the bridge has been sabotaged and someone is going to blow it up.Duh.Christ,the last 5 minutes we pure rubbish,how could anyone be that dumb?He had so much pride in his work he forgot where he was and about the war.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT A BAD BIT OF HISTORY,IT GOT QUITE A FEW AWARDS TOO.NICHOLSON IS A TOOL.

106 – Downfall (2004)

Stud

Stud

Downfall is a lot like the film Titanic in a few ways.Firstly both start with an old woman recounting a tale that lasts for about two and a half to three hours.Secondly,a shit load of people are dead by the end of the story.And thirdly,Titanic had a topless scene about half way through,Downfall did not,and that’s what it was lacking;a topless scene to keep the viewer engaged.Downfall isn’t a bad film,i’d never seen it before but from all the Downfall memes i’d seen it felt like i had.It’s a good story and all that and i don’t doubt that most of it is true but then the doubter asks how much is conjecture?Downfall is a good war movie in that it doesn’t show much of the war and the main focus is on the people and how they get through it and how it ultimately affects them.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.9
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD.WORTH A WATCH.

114 – The Elephant Man (1980)

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MONKEY BALLS!AN ELEPHANT MAN!

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MONKEY BALLS!AN ELEPHANT MAN!

A young American scientist develops a teleportation device  and just when he’s getting ready to try it out on himself for the first time, an elephant sneaks into the machine and alters his DNA.Nah,but really The Elephant Man is a great film.I had never seen it before but i always assumed that he was called the elephant man because in some way he resembled an elephant. Incorrect. In actuality it’s because when his mother was 4 months pregnant she was clobbered by an elephant and this is what they attribute his massive deformities too.His real name is John Merrick and he’s the perfect English gentleman but he does come across a bit camp in parts with all the ‘oohs’.Anthony Hopkins plays the part of concerned and aspiring doctor very well.It was filmed in 1980 but it’s in black and white to give a Victorian fell,much to it’s benefit.There’s one hairy scene 90 minutes in where an orderly who works at the hospital takes about  25 people from the pub and sneaks into Johns room and fucks up his night for him.The scene is made all the more worse with the circus type music playing.That’s bad.Another beef i had was  when John gets the shit beaten out of him Hopkins takes him somewhere quiet where he can rest.Where does he take him?To a fucking bell tower that some loud ass bells going on the hour every hour.One of Guy Richies regulars is in it too,see if you can spot him,he was in Lock Stock,Snatch and Layer Cake.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  VERY GOOD.THE LAST SCENE HAS SOME GOOD CLASSIC MUSIC AND SOME WEIRD DIALOGUE IN SPACE.

126 – Fargo (1996)

Steve Buscemi looking a bit chipper here.

Steve Buscemi looking a bit chipper here.

Any movie fan worth his salt will have a copy of Fargo in their collection.It’s a cult classic.When the Coen brothers get it right they get it right.We see that they’ve used two actors from The Big Lebowski but they’re playing such different characters that you don’t relate the two.Fargo’s got some great dark humour and the who setting with the accents is quality too.I’ll give you a short synopsis of the plot.A car salesman owes a lot of money,we never find out what for,so he decides to stage a fake kidnapping and get the ransom money off his father in law.The kidnappers are a bit volatile and kill a few people while moving the victim,all the while a pregnant small town cop is on their trail.Well worth the watch and tons packed into the 94 minutes.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  BUSCEMI IS GOOD FOR THE HUMOUR AND STORMARE’S DEAD PAN LOOKS ARE BANG ON.

155 – The King’s Speech (2010)

thats a shilling for the swear box

thats a shilling for the swear box

An excellent film.When it started my main thought was “fuck they’ll make a film about anything nowadays.A guy going to speech therapy. Meh But there’s a million more sides to this coco-nut.There’s all this political turmoil that Britains hit with all the while Mein Furher is getting ready to invade.The British humour is top notch and the wry delivery by both Rush and Firth  was desent. The way Rush keeps hounding the king of England for his shilling is hilarious.Some male bonding and emotional dialogue ties the whole thing together in a banana leaf.A good show.

IMDB RATING      –     8.1
MY RATING     –     8.3
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GREAT.RUSH AND FIRTH ARE PERFECT.