14 – Inception (2010)

Osama Bin Laden would have loved Cobbs reality.

Osama Bin Laden would have loved Cobbs reality.

Inception.Fuck yeah.Now that’s a film.The first time i watched this was with my brother,Alex,and his wife.Just as the credits started rolling he stood up and said “What a fucking load of shit” or something to that effect and left the room.It is a bit of a tricky one to take all in with a first viewing.Even now with this being about the 3rd or 4th time watching it i found it to be mesmerizing and amazing.Chris Nolan hats off to you.I’ll try to describe the plot but probably won’t do it justice enough.Inception is a sci-fi film where it’s possible to enters a persons mind while they are dreaming to steal valuable information,however you can also plant an idea,inception, but this is really tricky. Di Capaccino as Cobb is tasked with planting an idea in the head of the heir to an energy super company thing. Kato,the guy who wants to break up the company,hires Cobb and promises him he’ll expunge his criminal record in the U.S. so he can fly home and see his kids.Cobb gets a team together and everything goes off like a dream,within a dream,within a dream within a dream.Or does it?The visuals are excellent,the cast are damn near perfect,bar Michael Caine who i wouldn’t have bothered with.I just read some of the trivia from IMDB and Brad Pitt was almost the lead,would it have made a difference?I’m not sure.Also Nolans second original script,the rest being franchises or remakes.Fuck,lets get another together mate.

IMDB RATING      –     8.7
MY RATING     –    9.3
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  DEFO ONE OF MY TOP 5 FILMS.

23 – Se7en (1995)

Heisenberg shows up in police sketch

Heisenberg shows up in police sketch

Se7en is a great film overall.I don’t know who decided on the name but it sounds like an all boy pop band or something.Good acting from all parties;Pitt,Freeman and even Spacey.Yes even Spacey.He looks normal in this one so it must be before the plunger incident.The look of the film is pretty dark with a lot of colour correction to a green tint.They do this in a few films to give it a grimy look.Just look at Fight Club and you’ll see what i mean,green walls with holes all over,paint hanging off and loads of stuff similar to this that the set people would have to do.Paint a wall normal then peel off the paint for this look.Where am i going with this?No where.There’s a Nine Inch Nails music video over the credits,not credited either. Palthrow i don’t usually like but in this she’s okay.There is one scene where she tells Freeman about the baby that her voice drops about 4 octaves. I’m not sure if this is a mic issue or if her balls dropped but it spoiled the scene for me.She sounded like Princess Amadalla from Star Wars.One last thing that was down right retarded was the final scene with the helicopter escort.If you could take a moment and just focus on what they’re saying.Firstly when the car drives off they talk about it being at 10 O’clock and driving away,i think think they would be using north/east/west or whatever,know what i mean?If the helicopter turns a little to the left the directions are useless,but west and east are constant.Secondly they say “stay on the guy in the red”,seriosly,the guy in the red?How about stay on the suspect,the witness or John Doe.Thirdly they say they can’t land but then he says land,and finally as Mills kills the Doe they say some thing like ‘oh shit,get someone, anyone ,oh no,who can we call’.If these were professionals they would know what to do,eh training,and  just radio base and explain the situation.Oh one last this,the credits are run in reverse.Hard to read.Whats it symbolise?

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    8.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GOOD.THINK ABOUT THIS~IMAGINE THEY SWITCHED SPACEY AND FREEMANS CHARACTERS…

24 – The Silence of the Lambs (1991)

jizz to the face

jizz to the face

This my mothers favourite film.She loves all them psychological thriller type films.During the first 15 minutes i was a little sceptical,i thought Fosters acting was a bit off.But as the film progresses i realised that that was all part of the character of Starling.A great film,it spawned 2 sequels and a prequel i think.For anyone who hasn’t heard of it,it’s about a locked up serial killer who was once a psychiatrist,is he still one?, who is asked to help out with a current serial killer who’s doing the rounds.He seems to know his shit and actually met the killer on the loose once.Foster plays a cadet at the FBI academy who gets tasked with interviewing him in the hope that a little eye candy will help him relinquish some info.Hey presto it does.There’s a few famous faces here who went on to pursue parts in series like Barney the asylum guard who was in The Wire and buffalo bill himself was in Monk.I think.Some good camera work.The close-ups and cuts betweens people as they talk is super effective.I don’t think i had any qualms with the film,i did notice in the last scene where Starling is graduating that they have a huge cake with the FBI emblem on it and the woman cuts a piece that looks like about a 20th and there seems to be about 50+ people at the do.No cake for most of them it seems.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GREAT ONE LINERS THROUGHOUT;TOUGHENS THE NIPPLES.

26 – The Usual Suspects (1995)

Fuck!Me good cup!

Fuck!Me good cup!

 

Benico Del Toro plays an Argentinian smuggler here and his accent is fucking hilarious.The scene when the 5 guys first meet in the line up is quality.They’re all given a line to read to the person on the other side of the mirror thing and his version is the funniest.The Usual Suspects is a good film and all but i think it’s too high up the list here.I think it’s here mainly because it’s a bit original.None of the actors stand out and the there’s no crazy camera angles or effects.So it’s got to be the script.Spacey stars here as the narrator the story which jumps between his version of past events and present time,where he is being interviewed by a cop.Steven Baldwin wasn’t the worse in this,he kind of disappeared off the map after this and they missed a trick with Gabriel Burn by not having some sort of I.R.A. tie in what with him being Irish.Looking over the credits for director and writer and all that there’s nothing that sticks out to me,maybe the film was a fluke.Also there’s no re-watch value in the film,once you see it once i don’t see what you can take out of it a second time I guess the same can be said for Fight club,once you know the ‘secret’ it’s not the same.Both entertaining none the less.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  WORTH A PUNT,ONCE.

28 – Rear Window (1954)

I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,  So tell me what you want, what you really really want,  I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want,
So tell me what you want, what you really really want,
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really wanna zigazig ha.

Old Alfreds at it once more with another psychological thriller and starring again is good old reliable James Stewart.This time he plays a photographer who is bound to his apartment after busting up his leg taking action shots at a formula one race.It crashed into him.So he’s wheelchair bound and it’s a massive heat wave and he’s spent the last 6 weeks observing his neighbours through his window.He thinks he’s witnessed a murder and then starts obsessing about it.I’d never seen Rear Window before but I’ve seen some parodies,most notably The Simpsons,so i had the general gist of the plot.It’s really straight forward and i was waiting for the twist at the end but there wasn’t one.I felt robbed by it.That’s all I’m going to say on the matter.The film feels boring because your looking at the same set for the full 100 minutes.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –    NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  GRACE KELLY IS A NICE BIT OF EYE CANDY.

29 – Psycho (1960)

Norman goes a bit loopy.

Norman goes a bit loopy.

Bras were so much pointier back in the days.I mentioning this because of the scene at 11 minutes in,but i’ve noticed over a good few old or 50’s era films the bras or shape of a womans cleavage was pointier.You could take an eye out with one on a cold day i’d bet.Psycho is about a guy who runs a motel that’s off the beaten track who murders and kills young(ish) women.The woman in question is a secretary or something like that,who decides to steal $40,000 a client leaves in the office to pay for a house he’s buying.On the spur of the moment she decides to steal it and drive off.Drive to where?We never have a clue,i think we’re in the same boat as her.There’s some really dumb bits in this film.She’s being watched by a cop so she pulls into a used car garage and trys to swap her car and buy a new one in about 2 minutes.I think in reality if i were to trade in my old car the garage would want their mechanic to give it a look over wouldn’t they?Psycho doesn’t follow the Hitchcock formula of a perfect crime,it’s pretty much the opposite.It’s just about a nutter.Norman is a hard one to figure out;one moment he looks confident and is cracking jokes and other times he’s nervous and looks anxious.I guess that’s meant to highlight his psychosis or schizophrenia.Peep holes,oh shit don’t get me started on the peep holes in the film.If you were to make a peephole how would you go about it?Drill a small hole,cover one side with something so they don’t notice?Nope,make a hole the size of a XXL pizza one one side of the wall with a small hole on the other.Jesus.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  I WOULDNT HAVE CAST VERA MILES AS THE LEAD.SEEMS A LITTLE OLD.

36 – Apocalypse Now (1979)

:(

😦

Apocalypse Now is the sequel to Mel Gibsons smash hit Apocalyptico also about war and jungles.Not.No it’s about a colonel,Brando,who goes renegade during the Vietnam war and forms a killing squad of south Vietnamese who travel about the jungle massacring the enemy.Sheen is hired by the army to sneak into Cambodia and kill the insane Brando.As he gets closer and closer to the target the starts to relate with him and when it comes to the crunch he doesn’t know what to do.There’s a few famous faces in the cast here,with a very young Harrison Ford,an always old looking Duvall and a teenage Larry Fishbourne. Magnificently shot and with the odd bit of humor and surrealism.Like with the USO show in the middle of nowhere and the playboy bunnies what nearly get bum rushed by the randy soldiers.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  DUVALLS CHARACTER IS GREAT.NO FEAR OF THE WAR.

41 – North by Northwest (1959)

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

Gregory Peck stars in another of Hitchcock films here.In this one he’s mistaken for a fictitious character made by the CIA or FBI to catch a crook selling american secrets to the soviets.He’s ducking and diving trying to avoid the cops after he’s implemented in a murder at the  U.N.But it’s not all bad.In his travels he meets a horned up blonde on the overnight train.She’s made for it.There’s quite a bit of vocal foreplay here and in the end i think he scores.If you look at Peck when he kisses or holds a woman he doesn’t know what to do with his hands.He looks like he’s just after washing them and there’s no towels.There’s a scene at 1 hour 41 minutes where a gun goes off,but they must have done a few takes because before the gun fires an extra,a kid,in the background puts his fingers in his ears to dampen the sound.I wouldn’t have noticed if the little fuckers wasn’t looking over his shoulder so many times and looking directly at the camera.Later on in the film,near the end,h e bumps into another horned up blonde.Lucky bugger.But this time he’s in a rush so he just brushes her off.It’s not a bad film as a hole but there are a couple of scenes that weren’t needed.For example when Peck meets the blonde after he’s been shot with blanks she asks if he’s okay after being shot by blanks by her.Christ obviously,and  we guessed they were blanks after he got afterwards you don’t need to spoon feed up.The last 5 minutes of the film has so many flaws it’s a joke but i’ll just leave this review at that.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     – HAS SOME GOOD STUNTS IN DOWN BY PECK.

47 – Vertigo (1958)

Man i'm so baked...

Man i’m so baked…

Vertigo is a weird one.At first it’s some sort of supernatural detective yarn but 40 minutes from the end it jumps to the classic Hitchcock murder-mystery perfect crime Plot.Stewart plays a San Francisco detective who,in the course of a rooftop chase,witnesses another cop fall to his death.It’s this scare that leads to him developing vertigo.As he’s can’t go near any high places he quits the force indefinitely.Just as he quits he gets a call from an old college friend who wants him to investigate his wife.Now here’s where shit goes well and truly bizarre.As strange as the plot went i had to take it all in as-is,but i was left thinking that it was Hitchcocks style.But as the story went on,and on,it was all a big hoax. I’m telling you this because i wouldn’t bother recommending this film.There was 2 or 3 good bits where they went a bit crazy with the visuals.One bit was animated like a cartoon and another seemed like an acid trip.I think it was this acid trip that put Stewarts character in hospital for some months.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    6.9
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  COULD DO WITH CUTTING 25 MINUTES FROM IT.THE LEADING LADY WASN’T GREAT IN HER PERFORMANCE.

48 – American Beauty (1999)

Get them rose petals out the way!I can't see!

Get them rose petals out the way!I can’t see!

One from the late nineties here starring Thora Birch and Mena Suvari and with enough forehead space between them that you could land a helicopter on.Both have a topless scene each so i guess that’s a plus.There’s something about Kevin Spaceys face that looks like he had a plunger stuck on his mouth.Also his hair in the film keeps changing,maybe someone mixed up the box of wigs.The films about Spaceys character,Lester, and his final 2 weeks of life before he gets shot.In these two weeks me manages to:get fired,start a new job,smokes $2000 worth of dope,see a a teenagers tits and a few other things.The story is narrated by him even though we know at the beginning that he’s already dead.Lester is a bit walk over.His family treat him like shit and he seems to be always apologising and getting on everyone tits.You can see this in the camera work and the way he stands.For the first half of the film his back is always arched and in every scene with him and his wife he is physically shorter.I just checked online and Spacey is 3 inches taller that the wife,that scene in the car where he is the passenger but looks about a foot shorter is one of the more obvious ones.There’s tons of interpretations on the web about this film and i’m not going to waste mine and your time quoting them,but some are worth a look.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  THORA BIRCH WENT OFF THE RADAR AFTER THIS ONE.THE CREEPY NEIGHBOUR HAS SOE CRAZY LOOKING EYES.