2 – The Godfather (1972)

Now i know how Amy Winehouses husband felt.

Now i know how Amy Winehouses husband felt.

Set in 1945 The Godfather is about a mafia family boss who happens to be the godfather to around a dozen kids.It must sting the wallet at Christmas time.This Mafia boss,Don Corleone, is hot shit and can make virtually anything happen with his spectacular offers that no one can refuse.Anyway this guy wants Don Corleone to back him in this new drug venture he’s trying to get off the ground.The Don declines and ends up getting shot.Then there’s a war.The Godfather has a pretty good cast with Brando, Pacino, Duvall and Caan to name a few. I’m sure a few other ones will pop up in part II.The Dons favourite son,Micheal,takes the reigns after the shooting.The Godfather is by no means a fast paced film,its miles apart from Goodfellas or Casino but i guess that’s one of the aspects that appeals to people. I’ve never seen a Godfather film before and it’s seems okay,but just okay.There was a couple of lines that made me laugh,one in particular is when they shoot the guy the car and the guy says “leave the gun,take the canolli”.Right,now to watch the  part II.

IMDB RATING      –     9.2
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  IT’S GOT A GOOD NARRATIVE.

5 – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

One of Halle Berrys earlier works.

One of Halle Berrys earlier works.

The last Leone film on the list and it starts in true Leone style.It’s got a cool title sequence,with animated text and what not.It’s also got all the other bucks form his other films,Van Cleef,Eastwood and the guy who had the musical watch in the last film.The beginning has his familiar beginnings;a few cowboys walking around,some good close ups and not much chat.In fact it’s 10 minutes 30 before the first word is uttered.Tense stuff.This one’s set during the civil war and revolves around 3 characters , The Good – Eastwood as Blondie (doesn’t even have blond hair), The Bad – Van Cleef and The Ugly – the fat guy.Blondie and the ugly have a racket going.The ugly is wanted and Blondie captures him and gets the bounty then frees him and they split it.About the middle of the movie Blondie ‘and the ugly find out theres $200,000 hidden somewhere.Each have half of the puzzle and are keeping it to them selves.The Bad also knows about the money and tries to muscle in.It’s a good old story,I’m not sure if it warrants a full 3 hours but my d/l said it was an extended version so maybe it’s shorter normally.As always there’s a mad soundtrack to this,Leone really goes all out.I think my dad had it on C.D. when i was a kid.I thought of a good drinking game for this film. Every time someone shoots a hat take a drink.You’ll be drunk in no time.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  YEAH IT’S OKAY.BUT I’M NOT SURE IT SHOULD BE AT THIS SPOT.

 

9 – The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King(2003)

Smeagol goes all Prince and adds some symbols to his name.

Smeagol goes all Prince and adds some symbols to his name.

Four hours and ten minutes.Four fucking hours and ten minutes.Let me tell you this;normally when i see a film that runs 3 hours long i get a bit ,eh, apprehensive .Normally i like to have a beer or two when i do these reviews and i think after 4 fucking hours i don’t think i could do it justice.Fuck it I’ll try any-ways.During the film i opened up a Notepad so i could jot down some notes encase i was too drunk to remember.Here we go.Firstly Seagol takes them to this “secret stairs” which is about 5 metres from the main entrance and totally obvious.Second a little thing called a major fucking plot hole-When Seagol had the ring he didn’t age.He grew to be over 500 years old.Yet when Bilbo gave the ring away he aged like fuck.He’s nearly dead by the end.Sure Bilbo had the ring for like 70 years why didn’t Seagol die?Horseshit.Next.Not a plot hole but somewhat disconcerting,King Thedins army have a chant which is  “Death,Death,Death”.Here buddy probably not the best chant going into battle eh?And now I’m going to pick a few things that happened after the battle sequence.First Merry killed at least 6.So he was worth six men.Them Olephants were fucking cool as.Aragons accent was a bit weird throughout the trilogy for words like ‘our’ and ‘your’,they sounded super Irish.Maybe he was shooting two films at once.And lastly the lighting at the end,it’s night it’s day it’s a mega cloud it’s bright as fuck.Bad lighting bro.But i’ll leave it at this;that scene where they all bow to the hobbits ,i got teary.

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – THE SFX ARE A LOT BETTER.FEW PLOT BITS I DON’T AGREE WITH BUT I’LL LEAVE.

I've never had two pics to a post but this cracked me up.It's like something an Irish buck would say.

I’ve never had two pics to a post but this cracked me up.It’s like something an Irish buck would say.

11 – Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back(1980)

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Han it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Hans face it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Like the Lord of The Rings trilogy I’m just after watching these jumbled up again.I think it was third-first then second.This one was my favourite.Comparing it to the first one,this looked way more polished and the special effects were a step above A New Hope.The over all look of the film was great,a lot more crisp i thought.I was looking to see if there was any difference between the camera or processing specs for this and A New Hope and all i could find was this one had Panavision.Maybe i just had a low resolution version of the previous film.About the film,well we have all the cronies back together and still hanging out with the rebels.The opening scene i burst out laughing when Luke gets a slap in the face from a Yeti.Yes a fucking Yeti.Darth Vader is at it again and is hunting down Luke to try and make him join the dark side,but Luke’s off training with Yoda. Yoda is one weird little fucker,hard to get a straight answer out of him and he pisses off Luke by acting like idiot.On the whole a good film,Lucas took a step back from this one and i see him with only two credit-Story By and Producer all the rest like screenplay and direction are by other bucks.

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.3
SEEN BEFORE     –    NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – SOME GOOD LINES IN IT:”HOW’YA DOING,BUDDY?”

26 – The Usual Suspects (1995)

Fuck!Me good cup!

Fuck!Me good cup!

 

Benico Del Toro plays an Argentinian smuggler here and his accent is fucking hilarious.The scene when the 5 guys first meet in the line up is quality.They’re all given a line to read to the person on the other side of the mirror thing and his version is the funniest.The Usual Suspects is a good film and all but i think it’s too high up the list here.I think it’s here mainly because it’s a bit original.None of the actors stand out and the there’s no crazy camera angles or effects.So it’s got to be the script.Spacey stars here as the narrator the story which jumps between his version of past events and present time,where he is being interviewed by a cop.Steven Baldwin wasn’t the worse in this,he kind of disappeared off the map after this and they missed a trick with Gabriel Burn by not having some sort of I.R.A. tie in what with him being Irish.Looking over the credits for director and writer and all that there’s nothing that sticks out to me,maybe the film was a fluke.Also there’s no re-watch value in the film,once you see it once i don’t see what you can take out of it a second time I guess the same can be said for Fight club,once you know the ‘secret’ it’s not the same.Both entertaining none the less.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  WORTH A PUNT,ONCE.

29 – Psycho (1960)

Norman goes a bit loopy.

Norman goes a bit loopy.

Bras were so much pointier back in the days.I mentioning this because of the scene at 11 minutes in,but i’ve noticed over a good few old or 50’s era films the bras or shape of a womans cleavage was pointier.You could take an eye out with one on a cold day i’d bet.Psycho is about a guy who runs a motel that’s off the beaten track who murders and kills young(ish) women.The woman in question is a secretary or something like that,who decides to steal $40,000 a client leaves in the office to pay for a house he’s buying.On the spur of the moment she decides to steal it and drive off.Drive to where?We never have a clue,i think we’re in the same boat as her.There’s some really dumb bits in this film.She’s being watched by a cop so she pulls into a used car garage and trys to swap her car and buy a new one in about 2 minutes.I think in reality if i were to trade in my old car the garage would want their mechanic to give it a look over wouldn’t they?Psycho doesn’t follow the Hitchcock formula of a perfect crime,it’s pretty much the opposite.It’s just about a nutter.Norman is a hard one to figure out;one moment he looks confident and is cracking jokes and other times he’s nervous and looks anxious.I guess that’s meant to highlight his psychosis or schizophrenia.Peep holes,oh shit don’t get me started on the peep holes in the film.If you were to make a peephole how would you go about it?Drill a small hole,cover one side with something so they don’t notice?Nope,make a hole the size of a XXL pizza one one side of the wall with a small hole on the other.Jesus.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  I WOULDNT HAVE CAST VERA MILES AS THE LEAD.SEEMS A LITTLE OLD.

32 – The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

BACK BREAKING SHIT YO!

BACK BREAKING SHIT YO!

Another Nolan film here,this ones also got his brother Jonathan as a co-writer.Running at around 2 hours 40 it’s a long one and for me i definitely feel it.The first time i went to see it i was dozing off.When it was just out in the cinema one of the guys was going to see it for the 6th time in a week.I said i knew how he felt i couldn’t stay awake for all of it either.This seems like the last Batman film with everything tied up in a nice bow at the end.As far as i know Nolan is stepping back from the franchise but he’s buggered it up for the next guy;he’s used up the baddies already-Bane,the Joker, scarecrow and Two Face.In this film we’re introduced to Cat-woman aswell. When i heard Anne Hathaway was going to be in this i thought ‘shit’ but i was pleasantly surprised.She’s not bad,no Michelle Pfeffer but who is?Now let me get to Bane,Banes story isn’t long.He got his face messed up and a morphine addicted doctor screwed up his reconstruction surgery.I think.For some reason also he has the strangest accent that you wouldn’t associate with a villain living down a hole in the middle of nowhere.His voice reminds me of Patrick Stewarts.I’m just after going through the credits again to see if there was a voice actor for Bane and there isn’t.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  SHAVE 25 MINUTES OFF IT

33 – Sunset Blvd. (1950)

every guy waits to hear these words

every guy waits to hear these words

Fame.This one’s about an ageing star of the silent screen who’s fallen out of the limelight but has ideas of grandeur and wants to get back in front of the cameras.The plot sounds a little familiar.The story starts with a dead writer floating in a pool,great shot with the cops seen through the water,who is narrating how he came to be in this situation.Yes we have another American Beauty type voice over.The rest of the film is told via one long flashback until we catch up with the body in the pool.The writer,Joe,is down on his luck and as he’s being chased by repo men after his car he takes refuge in what he thinks is an abandoned mansion.In the mansion this 50 year old ex-actress called Norma lives.She’s a scary thing,her mannerisms and theatrics would remind anyone of Cruella DeVille from 101 Dalmatians. She has devised a script for her comeback film,naturally the writer takes a look at it and decides it’s full of crap but is willing to work on it because he’s skint. Things progress and he become a ‘kept man’ for her.Did i mention that Norma is a nut bag?She has tried to kill herself a load of times.Joe’s writing a script with a hot chick and sneaking out at night to finish writing it but when norma finds out she flips out and the brain goes cracked.Good film. I’ve seen it parodied a couple of times,some memorable quotes referenced too.

IMDB RATING      –     8.6
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  BUSTER KEATON HAS A CAMEO AS HIMSELF.

36 – Apocalypse Now (1979)

:(

😦

Apocalypse Now is the sequel to Mel Gibsons smash hit Apocalyptico also about war and jungles.Not.No it’s about a colonel,Brando,who goes renegade during the Vietnam war and forms a killing squad of south Vietnamese who travel about the jungle massacring the enemy.Sheen is hired by the army to sneak into Cambodia and kill the insane Brando.As he gets closer and closer to the target the starts to relate with him and when it comes to the crunch he doesn’t know what to do.There’s a few famous faces in the cast here,with a very young Harrison Ford,an always old looking Duvall and a teenage Larry Fishbourne. Magnificently shot and with the odd bit of humor and surrealism.Like with the USO show in the middle of nowhere and the playboy bunnies what nearly get bum rushed by the randy soldiers.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  DUVALLS CHARACTER IS GREAT.NO FEAR OF THE WAR.

38 – Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

This guy is super animated.He reminded me of the Bridges in Airplane.

This guy is super animated.He reminded me of the Bridges in Airplane.

Peter Sellers stars in this Kubrick classic.There wasn’t any credits after the film so i’m not sure how many characters he played but there’s at least 2.The film is about a military sergeant who’s a bit nuts,he has conspiracy theory’s about fluoride in the water and has a gattling gun hidden in his golf bag in his office,who single handily launches a nuclear war against the Russians.He issues a code which activates some 30-40 B-52’s directive of attacking Russian and dropping bombs all over the place.The president tries to stop it but doesn’t know the 3 digit cancellation code.It sounds like serious stuff right?But as the film goes on you realize that this is a dark humor,the film gets more and more daft as it nears its climax and i have to hand it to sellers he has his moments.I don’t think I’ve seen a comedy directed by Kubrick so far and it’s not all that bad,it just takes a little while to get into it.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – THE MILITARY CHIEF CHARACTER IS HILARIOUS,HIS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS ALONE CRACKED ME UP.