59 – WALL·E (2008)

I got pretty bored watching this that i forgot to take the screen shot until the last few  seconds.

I got pretty bored watching this that i forgot to take the screen shot until the last few seconds.

I don’t like Wall-e and the main reason why is the rubbish 1950’s music peppered and repeated to death throughout it.Who’s the target audience here?Not me anyways by the sounds of it.Don’t get me wrong the animation is on par and the musical score is pretty good but the repetitive stock footage of the all singing and dancing musical numbers just didn’t agree with me.Also with the Disney films there’s always some religious connotation’s that i don’t agree with. Here we have a robot called Eve that lands in his garden or eden and steals a plant.fuck why don’t we just call Wall-e Adam(Automated Detritus Arranging Machine) and be done with it.It’s obvious enough as it is.The only other thing i have a little beef,and it’s minor,with is the real actors used in pieces in the beginning and in the pre-recorded messages for the pilot,yet when we make it to the space station every-ones turned into a comical fat assed CGI representations of humans.One thing i noticed that i thought was a plot hole but maybe isn’t is the whole idea behind Eve getting the plant.I thought they needed the plant to get the co ordinates to get home,but obviously not if eve just came back from there and was was going to blast wall-e back home in a pod.But on second thoughts i think that its that the ship needs the plant to be able to accept the route and fly back.

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE    –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     MAYBE
OVERALL     –  SEE IF YOU CAN CATCH THE 2001:A SPACE ODYSSEY REFERENCE.GOD KNOWS THE KIDS WON’T.

7
yes
maybe
see if you can catch for the 2001:a space odyess reference,god knows the kids wont

65 – Lawrence of Arabia (1962)

Draw me jack.Like one of your French models...

Draw me jack.Like one of your French models…

Lawrence of Arabia,not to be confused with the adult film ‘Lawrence of Her Labia’,is about a British soldier who is sent into the desert to see what the Arabs plans are regarding the Turks and their army.He gets in well with the desert people and rallies with them to invade Damascus and take a Turkish garrison beside the some canal.Lawrence makes it back to Cairo where he was based before the whole thing and lets the Brits know what he’s done.He gets a commendation and asks for guns,artillery,armoured cars and some other stuff and goes back with the desert tribes and starts blowing up Turkish rail-roads to disrupt their army logistics.Lawrence comes across as an eccentric,at times camp,blond Brit among brutal Arabs,but he does have a dark side as we see him kill a few people.And enjoy it.In the end Lawrence,or as everyone calls him “orange”,wins Damascus for the Arabs.But with all the different tribes controlling a separate resource in the town it all goes to shit.No phones because someone else controls the generators and they’re fried.No water because there’s no power for the pumps and so on.All the Arabs give up and just leave the place in a huge mess,it’s now the Brits jobs to sort out the whole mess.One of the tribal leaders has a good quote near the start “my mother mated with a scorpion”.

IMDB RATING      –     8.4
MY RATING     –    7.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     MAYBE
OVERALL     –  I DON’T KNOW A GREAT DEAL ABOUT THE BRITISH EMPIRE AND THEY’RE EXPANSION THROUGH AFRICA SO IN PARTS I WAS LEFT SCRATCHING MY HEAD.

80 – The Lion King (1994)

It would have been a short film if the monkey dropped him now.

It would have been a short film if the monkey dropped him now.

As i mentioned before i don’t much like 80’s and 90’s Disney all-singing all-dancing animated films.James Earl Jones killed in film 81 comes back from the dead to star in film 80 only to get  screwed over by his brother Scar,who wants to take over and run the kingdom in alliance with Hyenas,and gets killed again.That guy has no luck.I’m not sure why Scar wants to include the Hyenas,maybe because they laugh at his jokes or something.The style of the animation in The Lion King doesn’t appeal to me,it seems too simple and even some of the animals look way off.For example i’ve seen giraffes and zebras in real life and these representaions of them look a bit shit.I know you have to sacrafice certain features in order to add a bit of personification to an animal but some animals looked rubbish.When this first came out there was a massive bit of hype about it and the local cinema was selling out for ages.The only major other beef i had with the film is that the lions eat gazelles and antilopes,but can they not speak too?When ever there’s a dramatic bit and a lions standing on pride rock,like the beginning or the end,there’s antilopes in the crowd cheering.Why?Why cheer for your king who one day will eat you?Why not leave and go somewhere else where’s there’s no lions?Why not walk up to the lion and say ‘excuse me buddy,but could you not kill and eat me please?’

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    6.6
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NOT FOR ME.ALSO THE IMPLIED RELIGION BIT IS RUBBISH,ANIMALS WITH RELIGION?RUBBISH.

92 – Unforgiven (1992)

Hookers of the old west.Slim pickings indeed.

Hookers of the old west.Slim pickings indeed.

Unforgiven is another western with horses and guns and all that shit.A hooker is with a john and she laughs because he’s got a small ‘pecker’.He loses the rag and takes out a knife and starts to do a bit of carving on her face.No great loss as she was really plain looking anyway.The scars will add character.The other 4 or 5 hookers decide to put up a bounty of $1000 to get the guy killed and his friend who was with him that night.Roll in Eastwood,he was a cold hearted killer some 11 years ago but his wife got him off the sauce and out of the killing.He’s now a pig farmer.But the wife is long dead and when a kid who idolises him asks him to help with the bounty he reluctantly agrees,more so for the money for his kids.They pick up Freeman to complete the troupe.He seems to be the only good shooter among. The kids blind and Eastwood hasn’t shot a gun in ages.They find the two guys and it pretty much goes to plan except Freeman freezes and decides it’s not for him and heads home.Just when the film was getting good it ends.As soon as Eastwood has a glass of booze he turns into the hard ass he was 11 ago and we learn it was the booze that fucked him over.Moral of the story-don’t drink.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  I WONDERED WHY I FOUND IT BORING AND LONG.THEN I SEEN THE CREDITS PRODUCED & DIRECTED BY EASTWOOD.

95 – The Apartment (1960)

and this is the exact moment his heart breaks

and this is the exact moment his heart breaks

The Apartment is about this guy,Jack Lemmon,who’s a bachelor and has an apartment down-town which he lends to 4 of his superiors at work when they want to cheat on their wives and back mistresses or hookers or whatever.All these guys are executives or pretty high up the ladder you think they could spend a few dollars on a motel or hotel room but no they just use the guys.They don’t even pay him a cent either,they just dangle the carrot of a promotion in front of him.All this coming and goings and rowdy noise from his apartment makes his neighbours think he’s a dog and is no good and as nice a guy as he is he plays along with it.Baxter really is a kind guy and seems pretty nice and doesn’t seem to deserve all this shit he keeps getting fed.Baxter falls for the elevator girl at work and tries to make a move and arranges a date with her.The same night his boss asks for the apartment for his bit on the side.As it turns out Baxter gets stood up and low and behold he finds out it was the elevator girl the boss took to his house.He dies a little inside.The Apartment is a unique story,al little original but we all know how it ends up in the end.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  BAXTERS SHEETS MUST BE A STIFF AS A BOARD.

97 – Raging Bull (1980)

The way Jack keeps trying to crack onto this 15 year old they should change the title to "Under-aging Bull"

Jake hooks up with a 15 year old girl.Raging Bull?More like UNDERaging Bull.

Another fight movie here,not so much focusing on the fights but more on the fighter,Jake La Motta.It’s all a true story too.Where to begin?At the start of the film Jake has the hots for this 15 year old,which i thought was weird because Jake has to be nearly 40.Wrong.I checked on wikipedia and Jake was only 19 but De Niro was 37 so that’s what threw it for me.Jake already has a wife when he meets this new chick,he treats his wife like shit and is the biggest douche in America in my opinion.Joe Pesci is in this too playing Joe Pesci,well actually he’s Jakes brother but in every film Pesci is the same character.It’s like he was plucked right out of Casino and dropped into this film.Jakes a good fight and hammers everyone but has some insecurities about women,oh and he divorces his old wife and takes up with the new one when she hits 18.He fights a bit,,shouts at his wife a bit and is generally a prick.When he gives up boxing he opens a club and lets little girls in and ‘introduces’ them to guys.Girls who are 14 in an over 21 club.This is all still a true story.After all said and done Jake takes up stand up comedy.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NOT MY CUP OF TEA.

108 – Yojimbo (1961)

Lassie everyone!A big hand for Lassie!(*clap clap clap)

Lassie everyone!A big hand for Lassie!(*clap clap clap)

A samurai finds himself un-employed after a dynasty is toppled.He wanders aimlessly through the countryside and lands in a small town where there’s two business men and their gangs fighting each other.He stirs up the fighting and offers his service as bodyguard to both of them.He plays them off each other constantly going back and forth between the two rival gangs.It seems like all he wants is money,but later on we find he does have a conscience as he kills his employers men in order to free an old mans wife so they can get back together.He gets found out and gets the shit beaten out of him but escapes.Then there’s a big fight at the end.Not much of a film,i’m not sure why it’s placed this high.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  MEH

111 – Snatch (2000)

This is a retarded scene.The case is handcuffed to a dead guy.What do you do?Chop off his hand and slip off the cuffs?Wrong.You cut off his arm and carry it around with the case still cuffed to it.Richie grow a fucking brain.

This is a retarded scene.The case is handcuffed to a dead guy.What do you do?Chop off his hand and slip off the cuffs?Wrong.You cut off his arm and carry it around with the case still cuffed to it.Richie grow a fucking brain.

Plot holes,plot holes and more plot holes. Fuck,where do i begin?Lets see,okay,Tommys little monologue about cows and how the human digestives system hasn’t got used to dairy products is bullshit.May i refresh your memory buddy;breast milk and breast feeding,ring a bell?And then there’s the issue of the 2 replica guns.Replica guns that can shoot blanks?Come on Richie what do you take the viewer for?As for the Russian let me ask you this question.You have your hands cuffed together and a bag on your head and you escape,what’s the first thing you do?Bring your hands up to your head and remove the bag?No.You run around blind and early in the film Boris agrees to pay the two black guys 50 grand for the job and when they do it he says “here’s the 10 grand as agreed” where the fuck is the other 40?Also a replica gun can blow 4 windows in a car out in 1 shot while as an actual gun shot 3 times six inches from a window does nothing.It’s retarded stuff like this that makes this movie un-watchable for me.There’s a thousand things wrong with this film and only one right thing.Brad Pitts pikey character,great accent and every scene is pretty good.I won’t go into the plot too much but it follow the basic Richie formula:London gangsters,good guys owe money,things look bad,okay in the end.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY LIKE SNATCH AS ITS FAR UP ON THE LIST.PERSONALLY IT’S NOT FOR ME.

113 – Inglourious Basterds (2009)

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

I wish some had taken the time to shoot me before i started to watch this film.

Tarantino takes a stab at World War II here in Inglourious Basterds.I’ve tried to watch this film some 6 times now and I’ve either fallen asleep or lost interest and turned it off.Even this time i had to watch it in two parts because i fell asleep.Maybe it’s the length because it’d dead boring but either way – not a fan.Tarantino does his usual shit by adding unessessary bits and pieces everywhere.For example the title screens breaking the film into chapters.Why the fuck does he keep doing that?What’s the point of it?He did it in Kill Bill too.I can’t remember if he did in Django or not.Also having the name of one of the SS super imposed on the screen with an arrow pointing at him,retarded.Are you 6 years old?One more bit,when lars meets Soshanna for the second time we have a flash back to the opening scene where she gets away,Tarantino you prick i can remember back 40 minutes ago stop spoon feeding the viewer.Now the story,there’s a plot to kill Hitler.A U.S. team of Nazi killers plans to blow up a cinema.Also a Jew plans to burn the same cinema on the same night.That’s it.The rest is filler.A good 2 hours of filler.There was a plot hole i spotted but i can’t remember it now.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    6.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  FASSBENDER AND WALTZ ARE EXCELLENT,BUT TWO GREAT ACTORS COULDN’T SAVE THE FILM FOR ME.

115 – On the Waterfront (1954)

Kayoh.It was the drink that killed him in the end.

Kayoh.It was the drink that killed him in the end.

Did anyone watch that t.v. show The Wire?Well the plot of OTW is a little bit similar.Seacon 3 i think it was,the one with the corrupt union at the shipping yard.The same story is in effect here,there’s a corrupt union and they start knocking off people who are going to inform against them and then the police roll in.Brando plays Terry,his older brother is part of these mobster in the union,and he was a professional boxer and as the line goes “He could have been someone,he could have been a contender” but his mob brother made him throw a fight and the other guy got the shot at the title.Brandos character is the basic brawn over brains but he has a conscience and it gets the better of him.The music can be a bit loud in parts,at around 30 minutes from the end i had to drop it from 100% down to 30% because it just jumped up loud as fuck,so look out if you’re listening with earphones.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  BRANDOS GOOD AND ALL THAT,BUT THE AUDIO FRIED MY EARS TOO MUCH.