17 – Seven Samurai (1954)

I'm not sure why this samurai went to battle with his bare ass out.

I’m not sure why this samurai went to battle with his bare ass out.

Here’s an old one,1954,you wouldn’t think it from the dialogue.There’s some good insults in it that are still used frequently these days.The wipes are pretty good from scene to scene,they look quite animated.In 50’s films they all have a dissolve but in this it’s all Left-to-right fade thing.The earliest ones I’ve ever seen.The plot sees a crap village that regularly gets ambushed by bandits,hard asses,and they decide to hire some Samurai’s to kill the buggers.They rationalize that they need 5 so they get 7,and some are pretty shite.The Samurai train the farmers to fight,build fences and moats and instill a team spirit in them.As the farmers finish harvest they get ready for a big battle.Some the Samurai seem pretty Calais when they’re picking them off and counting numbers.I didn’t like this film,man was it a hard watch,i kept getting sleepy or bored and had to pause it.It’s not for me then.

IMDB RATING      –     8.7
MY RATING     –    6.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  WAY TOO LONG.

43 – Spirited Away (2001)

Flying dog/dragons and shit.

Flying dog/dragons and shit.

Spirited Away is another whim-sickle film from Studio Ghibli. It follows the same sort of genre as many of their others,it has spirits, ghosts, monsters, spells, dragons and curses.And like the others it features a young child,a girl called Chitiro or Sia,as the lead.The girl gets transported off to some spirit work by mistake while out on a walk with her parents.Throughout the course of the films she’s trying to save her parents and get home but there’s loads of obstacles in her way.Visually there are some interesting looking characters knocking around the bath house in the spirit place and the story’s not too bad either.There are a few bits where the plot seems to be moving a little slow,a few scenes running just a few seconds longer,but if keep noticing them then it seems to add up.I watched the dubbed version with the subs just to see which was better and i think the dubbed is better.The text with the subs isn’t as accurate as what they’re saying.A good Ghibli film,i did prefer Howls Moving Castle myself.

IMDB RATING      –     8.5
MY RATING     –    7.6
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  WORTH A WATCH,ONCE.

86 – Oldboy (2003)

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.Weep and you weep alone.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.Weep and you weep alone.

For anyone who hasn’t seen Oldboy I’ll describe it simply.If you ever watched Big Brother it’s quite similar.But while one lasts about 60 days in Oldboy the guy is locked up for 15 years.Also while one is psychological and sadistic the other is a Korean film. Oldboy is about this guy in his 20’s who gets kidnapped one night while drunk.He’s then locked in a room for 15 years with no human contact.He doesn’t know why or who put him there but when he gets released he sets about finding out.There’s some great camera work and the whole look of the film is excellent.Even the animated title credits look great.As he tries to find out who put him there he has to beat up a lot of people.These fight scenes are something else.The single shot corridor fight sequence is one to look out for.In the end he finds out how and why and it’s a bit of a twist.But i will say something,the final scene where he gets hypnotised he’s a bit selfish and could have hypnotised to alter his memory in another way.If you watch it you’ll know what i mean.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.6
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  A CORKER.THERE WAS 2 SCENES THAT MAKE ME CRINGE,DENTIST AND TONGUE CUTTING.

90 – Rashômon (1950)

You did?I just open up Chrome and start up a Private Window and do some Googleing.

You did?I just open up Chrome and start up a Private Window and do some Googleing.

Rashômon is the name of a city in Japan that’s a bit wrecked from wars and fighting.At the gates there are 3 men sheltering from the rain.It’s bucketing down,real heavy stuff.Two of the guys were just at a trail as witnesses,the third guy is a stranger to them.The trial is for a Samurai that was found dead in the woods and I’m going to use the word Samurai as loosely as possible because this guy is useless. Anyways there are 4 people testifying at the trail with their sides of the story.Each one different form the last.Even the guy who was killed gets a chance to testify via the medium of a medium.Like when Sam jumps into Rita body in Ghost.All the stories stink to high heaven and it seems like not one of them could lie right in bed.The films works well with all the different stories and parts that are a little similar,but the overall message the director is getting across is everyone looks out for number one and everyone lies.There’s quite a bit of maniacal laughter in this film,so if that kind of stuff scares you then I’d give it a miss.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD FOR A FILMS THAT’S OVER 60 YEARS OLD.

99 – The Bridge on the River Kwai (1957)

Kallyoke anyone? You like  Bohemian Rhapsody?

Kally-oké anyone? You like Bohemian Lhapsody?

Another war movie here and i took the liberty to check the Wiki for what war it was this time.It’s WWII.There’s this Japanese P.O.W. camp and there’s a good load of British prisoners here.Let’s say about 200.There’s a Japanese head honcho called Saito and he calls the shots and doesn’t think twice about saying ‘fuck the Geneva convention i’m going to shoot you’.The P.O.W.’s are tasked with building a bridge of the Kwai and have 3 months to do it.So naturally the lads all goof off and work super slow so they will delay the construction.Then there’s a this pompous British asshole Colonel (and how the fuck is that pronounced cur~nel?)who fuck everything up.Firstly he tells the Japs there bridge is designed wrong and placed in the wrong part of the river.This is after the Jap guy says if its not done on time he has to kill himself.He then redesigns it into a super bridge and increases the prisoners work quota.It gets worse.There’s a bunch of British commandos tasked with blowing it up.They plant explosives and plan to blow it up when the first train goes over in the morning.The Colonel is walking along the bridge,last minute checks,and notices a wire,naturally he calls the douche Japanese head buck and tells him the bridge has been sabotaged and someone is going to blow it up.Duh.Christ,the last 5 minutes we pure rubbish,how could anyone be that dumb?He had so much pride in his work he forgot where he was and about the war.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT A BAD BIT OF HISTORY,IT GOT QUITE A FEW AWARDS TOO.NICHOLSON IS A TOOL.

104 – Grave of the Fireflies (1988)

Pre-pubesent topless scene,sure why not?

Pre-pubesent topless scene,sure why not?

Graveyard for the Fireflys is a Japanese anime film about some war.I wasn’t the best at history in school nor did i care for it so i’m going to say it was a war with America.Correct me if i’m wrong.The story is about a teeanage boy and his kid sister and their struggle to stay alive.Their home is hit in an air-raid and so is the shelter,where his mother was,so they are left with no home and no mother.The father all the while is a naval office fighting the yanks.Thentwo kids grab what they can from their old house and make there way to an aunt.The aunt is  atoatal hardass to them so they say ‘fuck it’ and pack all their things and move into a derelict room/tunnel thing beside a lake.I won’t spoil it for you but everyone dies in the end.Not a bad anime,i think it could work really well as a live action.As sad as this film was i wasnt moved,but a live action version would bring down the house.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  OKAY.QUITE SAD.THE ONLY REASON I WOULDN’T RECOMMEND IT IS BECAUSE
I CAN THINK OF BETTER ONE’S I’D RECOMMEND FIRST.

108 – Yojimbo (1961)

Lassie everyone!A big hand for Lassie!(*clap clap clap)

Lassie everyone!A big hand for Lassie!(*clap clap clap)

A samurai finds himself un-employed after a dynasty is toppled.He wanders aimlessly through the countryside and lands in a small town where there’s two business men and their gangs fighting each other.He stirs up the fighting and offers his service as bodyguard to both of them.He plays them off each other constantly going back and forth between the two rival gangs.It seems like all he wants is money,but later on we find he does have a conscience as he kills his employers men in order to free an old mans wife so they can get back together.He gets found out and gets the shit beaten out of him but escapes.Then there’s a big fight at the end.Not much of a film,i’m not sure why it’s placed this high.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  MEH