1 – The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

Gene Kelly escapes from prison

Gene Kelly escapes from prison

And finally….   yes i finally made it to film number 1.Yee haa.And it’s the 1994 classic – The Shawshank Redemption. Based on a Stephen King short story from 1982.Couple of good performances from Robbins and Freeman.Shawshank is about a guy called Andy Dufresne who is falsely given two 30 year life sentences when his wife and lover are found dead.But ii gets worse,on the inside there’s a gang of dudes intent on raping him or beating the shite out of him.Andy was a big shot banker and so does the taxes for all the guards working there.The next time the lads bust Andy the guards fuck him up.Sorted.Freeman narrates and his slow soothing voice is pleasing to the ear.There are a few weepy bits there , like when Brooks gets out or when it seems like Andy’s at the end of his rope.The film spans over about 20 years with not one character ageing much.I don’t think after watching it again just now i’d give the highest rating but definitely worth a look.

IMDB RATING      –     9.2
MY RATING     –    8.9
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  UNDERDOG TRIUMPHS.PEOPLE LOVE ESCAPE MOVIES.

2 – The Godfather (1972)

Now i know how Amy Winehouses husband felt.

Now i know how Amy Winehouses husband felt.

Set in 1945 The Godfather is about a mafia family boss who happens to be the godfather to around a dozen kids.It must sting the wallet at Christmas time.This Mafia boss,Don Corleone, is hot shit and can make virtually anything happen with his spectacular offers that no one can refuse.Anyway this guy wants Don Corleone to back him in this new drug venture he’s trying to get off the ground.The Don declines and ends up getting shot.Then there’s a war.The Godfather has a pretty good cast with Brando, Pacino, Duvall and Caan to name a few. I’m sure a few other ones will pop up in part II.The Dons favourite son,Micheal,takes the reigns after the shooting.The Godfather is by no means a fast paced film,its miles apart from Goodfellas or Casino but i guess that’s one of the aspects that appeals to people. I’ve never seen a Godfather film before and it’s seems okay,but just okay.There was a couple of lines that made me laugh,one in particular is when they shoot the guy the car and the guy says “leave the gun,take the canolli”.Right,now to watch the  part II.

IMDB RATING      –     9.2
MY RATING     –    7.8
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  IT’S GOT A GOOD NARRATIVE.

3 – The Godfather: Part II (1974)

The ring Fredo,we have to destroy the ring!

The ring Fredo,we have to destroy the ring!

I said in my very first post that i would watch every film in order and i have up until this.Lord of The Rings and Star Wars included.But they messed me around doing that so seeing as i’m at the last 2 films I’ve gone ahead and watched Godfather I first.Right Godfather II follows on from Micheal Corleone takes over from his dad and becomes the don.The film has two time lines running at the same time.In one we have Micheal as he runs the Mafia and gets indited and in the other we have the tale of how his dad becmae the don.I found the flashback story to be better.It stars De Niro as Vito and takes place in or around the year 1917.Vitos dad gave guff to a mafia boss in Corleone Italy and was killed for it.They also killed his wife and his son,Vito barely made it away.He’s about 12 years old and bundled off to America on his own.He ebbs out a life and has family and slowly gets involved in small time crime.It’s a good story but on the whole i found the film to be boring,i drifted off a few times and had to rewind it back 10 minutes.I can see why it’s on the list,great acting but just long and boring.Robert Duvall is my favourite character in this.A solid performance.

IMDB RATING      –     9.2
MY RATING     –    7.3
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  NO  FOR ME.BORED ME TO PIECES.

4 – Pulp Fiction (1994)

Tim what ever floats your boat buddy.

Tim what ever floats your boat buddy.

I think Pulp Fiction is one of the most over rated films out there .There are some good scenes and a few bits of dialogue but as a whole,i don’t like it.Even at this early stage in his career Tarantino has a few title cards that aren’t even needed.Why must he spoon feed the audience?Give them a bit of credit for gods sake.For example when Marsellus is introduced he’s talking to Vince or Jules and there’s a title card that shows their names and within about 15 seconds they mention their own names in casual conversation.There’s a few other things that got my goat.Quite a few.Lets see, first , when Vince is having dinner with Mia he asks to try her shake.He then goes to remove her straw.What the fuck was that about?Was he going to remove hers put his in,remove his and pop hers back?Eh, the price of a box of smokes is $1.40 but a gram of heroin in $300?Does that sound right to you?And that’s the cheap heroin too,Vince bought the $500 stuff.Also heroin is off white a more brown colour,sure it comes from opium,it’s not white and i think Mia would have noticed if it wasn’t white.Em what else,Butchs woman is like 13 years old-maybe 10 mentally,oh Butch has a smoke after the fight as the taxi drives ,window fully down beside him and lights a smoke off a match.Bullshit that match would be blown out and his fag would fly out the window and he’d be sucked out into space.The end.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    7.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  SNOT FOR ME.NOW I’M PISSED OFF AFTER WATCHING IT.DANNY DE VITO HAS A CREDIT.

5 – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)

One of Halle Berrys earlier works.

One of Halle Berrys earlier works.

The last Leone film on the list and it starts in true Leone style.It’s got a cool title sequence,with animated text and what not.It’s also got all the other bucks form his other films,Van Cleef,Eastwood and the guy who had the musical watch in the last film.The beginning has his familiar beginnings;a few cowboys walking around,some good close ups and not much chat.In fact it’s 10 minutes 30 before the first word is uttered.Tense stuff.This one’s set during the civil war and revolves around 3 characters , The Good – Eastwood as Blondie (doesn’t even have blond hair), The Bad – Van Cleef and The Ugly – the fat guy.Blondie and the ugly have a racket going.The ugly is wanted and Blondie captures him and gets the bounty then frees him and they split it.About the middle of the movie Blondie ‘and the ugly find out theres $200,000 hidden somewhere.Each have half of the puzzle and are keeping it to them selves.The Bad also knows about the money and tries to muscle in.It’s a good old story,I’m not sure if it warrants a full 3 hours but my d/l said it was an extended version so maybe it’s shorter normally.As always there’s a mad soundtrack to this,Leone really goes all out.I think my dad had it on C.D. when i was a kid.I thought of a good drinking game for this film. Every time someone shoots a hat take a drink.You’ll be drunk in no time.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  YEAH IT’S OKAY.BUT I’M NOT SURE IT SHOULD BE AT THIS SPOT.

 

7 – The Dark Knight (2008)

Eminem is The Joker?

Eminem is The Joker?

Dark Knight?Dark shite more like.Nah,that’s a bit harsh innit?I’m not sure why but i don’t like this film.Maybe it was all the hype surrounding it what with The Ledge dying pretty soon after filming.I liked the one before this and the one after it but this one i thought was just a bit average.Nothing spectacular.The plot for the Dark Knight; we’re introduced to a new madman,The Joker, and a new good guy in Harvey Dent.Dent is the new district attorney and seems like he’s got the guts to tackle the mobsters and shut down organised crime.The Joker,as mad as he looks,is running about setting up games and planting hundreds or barrels of petrol and bombs everywhere.I don’t know where he gets the time.Busy guy.The Joker gets Batman by the balls,metaphorically,and blackmails him into showing his face.He starts killing off civilians so then Gotham hates him.There’s also a change or actress in this if nobody noticed,Katie Holmes was booted off and the door looking Maggie Glynenenenenenthall takes her spot.Her performance is pretty poor in my opinion.At the end the film just ends.That’s it.No inclination of what to expect in the next instalment,this kind of left me on a bum note.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    7.1
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     – MEH

8 – Schindler’s List (1993)

If there's tits in a film i'll find them.

If there’s tits in a film I’ll find them.

Schindler’s List is a romantic comedy in which Liam Neeson plays Schindler,a man who loses his memory every night when he falls asleep.He relies on a complex series of notes and lists to function in modern day Miami.Rob Schneider plays the love interest. Actually nothing could be further from the truth.Here we have movie 6 i think that’s about the Holocaust .Schindler is a businessman who runs a pots and pans factory with a Jewish workforce.This is all during world war 2 and as you may or not know the Germans weren’t the Jews biggest fans.So Neeson tries to help them by giving them a job.If you’re a skilled worker then you won’t be shipped off to the camps or Auschwitz. There’s a lot of bribery going on and Neeson spends all his money/valuables in order to try and help them. Ralph Fiennes plays a sadistic Nazi guy in this who takes pleasure in killing Jews for no reason.Bad fucker.When Neeson show s a bit of compassion for the Jews and treats them like humans Fiennes has him taken in for questioning to see if he’s a sympathizer. The movie has quite a lot of people getting killed and the brutality of the Nazi is fucking depressing and keep in mind this is all a true story.I got a bit teary eyed at one point during the film,i had bug spray on my finger and itched my eye.

IMDB RATING      –     8.9
MY RATING     –    8.2
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – VERY DEPRESSING

9 – The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King(2003)

Smeagol goes all Prince and adds some symbols to his name.

Smeagol goes all Prince and adds some symbols to his name.

Four hours and ten minutes.Four fucking hours and ten minutes.Let me tell you this;normally when i see a film that runs 3 hours long i get a bit ,eh, apprehensive .Normally i like to have a beer or two when i do these reviews and i think after 4 fucking hours i don’t think i could do it justice.Fuck it I’ll try any-ways.During the film i opened up a Notepad so i could jot down some notes encase i was too drunk to remember.Here we go.Firstly Seagol takes them to this “secret stairs” which is about 5 metres from the main entrance and totally obvious.Second a little thing called a major fucking plot hole-When Seagol had the ring he didn’t age.He grew to be over 500 years old.Yet when Bilbo gave the ring away he aged like fuck.He’s nearly dead by the end.Sure Bilbo had the ring for like 70 years why didn’t Seagol die?Horseshit.Next.Not a plot hole but somewhat disconcerting,King Thedins army have a chant which is  “Death,Death,Death”.Here buddy probably not the best chant going into battle eh?And now I’m going to pick a few things that happened after the battle sequence.First Merry killed at least 6.So he was worth six men.Them Olephants were fucking cool as.Aragons accent was a bit weird throughout the trilogy for words like ‘our’ and ‘your’,they sounded super Irish.Maybe he was shooting two films at once.And lastly the lighting at the end,it’s night it’s day it’s a mega cloud it’s bright as fuck.Bad lighting bro.But i’ll leave it at this;that scene where they all bow to the hobbits ,i got teary.

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – THE SFX ARE A LOT BETTER.FEW PLOT BITS I DON’T AGREE WITH BUT I’LL LEAVE.

I've never had two pics to a post but this cracked me up.It's like something an Irish buck would say.

I’ve never had two pics to a post but this cracked me up.It’s like something an Irish buck would say.

10 – Fight Club (1999)

I was caught in 2 minds of what to have as the image.It was either the naked body double who plays Marla during the sex scene or the spliced in cock at the end.

I was caught in 2 minds of what to have as the image.It was either the naked body double who plays Marla during the sex scene or the spliced in cock at the end.

I enjoyed Fight Club when it first came out.It’s an original film and it’s hard to get them nowadays,everything seems to be a franchise or a re-boot.I can’t believe it came out 14 years ago,that’s fucking mad,half my life ago.Fight Clubs a movie adaptation of a book of the same name.Guy who wrote this also wrote Choke which was made for movie soon after this,i guess riding on the coat tails of the success of this.I read one of the dudes book and all the same stuff from Fight Clubs in it,he even uses the ‘i am Jacks…’ thing in it verbatim. Maybe he’s a lazy writer.Anyway back to the film.I’d love to go back to the first time i seen again because after you know the twist the re-watch value drops significantly. Yeah you’ll watch it again but your not going to be looking front and centre you’re going to be looking for all the bits you missed,and there are a ton of them.That’s why we have pause and frame by frame on dvd players.I was reading that they were going to cast Tom Hanks as Tyler and Morgan Freeman as the leads but they pulled out at the last moment due to filming constraints.Carter,man how i loathe that actress,i don’t know who I’d cast instead but not her any ways. I was an hour into the film and i was trying to remember Nortons characters name,wracking my brains,credits roll and he didn’t have a name.Here’s another thing i noticed,that a song by Papa Roach called ‘Between Angels and Insects’ was 3 or 4 lines that are directly quoted from this film.I did some research and the song was recorded in 1999 and released in 2001.I wonder if they paid to clear it?

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – LOOKS GOOD.CGI IS DESCENT LOOKING FOR 1999.

P.S. The audio levels were crazy on this,during every fight scene i had to half the volume,just a warning if you’re going to be wearing earphones.

11 – Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back(1980)

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Han it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Drop of incest on the go here and by the looks of Hans face it looks like he could be Hand-Solo yet.Get it?Hand-Solo?No?

Like the Lord of The Rings trilogy I’m just after watching these jumbled up again.I think it was third-first then second.This one was my favourite.Comparing it to the first one,this looked way more polished and the special effects were a step above A New Hope.The over all look of the film was great,a lot more crisp i thought.I was looking to see if there was any difference between the camera or processing specs for this and A New Hope and all i could find was this one had Panavision.Maybe i just had a low resolution version of the previous film.About the film,well we have all the cronies back together and still hanging out with the rebels.The opening scene i burst out laughing when Luke gets a slap in the face from a Yeti.Yes a fucking Yeti.Darth Vader is at it again and is hunting down Luke to try and make him join the dark side,but Luke’s off training with Yoda. Yoda is one weird little fucker,hard to get a straight answer out of him and he pisses off Luke by acting like idiot.On the whole a good film,Lucas took a step back from this one and i see him with only two credit-Story By and Producer all the rest like screenplay and direction are by other bucks.

IMDB RATING      –     8.8
MY RATING     –    8.3
SEEN BEFORE     –    NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – SOME GOOD LINES IN IT:”HOW’YA DOING,BUDDY?”