81 – Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

This is meant to be some gross alien with 6 boobs,but in reality it's what white trash american women look like.

This is meant to be some gross alien with 6 boobs,but in reality it’s what white trash american women look like.

I haven’t seen Star Wars since i was a kid so i didn’t know what really happened in the 2 films before this.The thing i like about George Lucas is he’s goes a bit mad with the transitions and wipes between scenes.Most films will have a simple dissolve or fade to black but Lucas has dozens of differnt ones.Return of The Jedi has some great costumes and props,there’s a lot to be said for taking the time and effort and making a full body suit of an alien than just popping one in in post production like that atrocious Jar-Jar Binks.For some reason i thought there was  aspin off movie called The Battle For Endor,was there?It rings a bell,i thought i had it on VHS as a kid,but in all reality it was probably Return of The Jedi and the furry midgets were the only thing i remembered.The plots okay,but is it not the same as the last film?,there was a couple  of bits that had me asking questions.Like when Darth Vader throws the emporer down the hole could he not use the force and land safely or something?Luke levitated C3PO for about a minute earlier and it was no sweat.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GOOD VISUAL EFFECTS FOR IT’S TIME.

82 – Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Yes!

Yes!

Yet another Vietnam war movie here.Here with Full Metal Jacket we have Kubrick taking a stab at it.Everytime i watch this film i always think of it as two seperate films.One part showing the struggle and failures of military training then the second part is a gritty realistic brutal war story.When someone asks if i’ve seen FMJ i only remember the the first part and completely forget the second.Maybe i prefer the character development to the action and shooting either way the film as a whole is not bad.Kubrick wrote,directed and produced this film,basing the screenplay off a novel.The plot follow a few young guys as they join the army go through an 8 week basic training and then get shipped off to Da Nang or somewhere like that in Vietnam.Some become infintry and others war journalists.The film has some choice tracks from the era to set the scene,Nancy Sinatra and a few more,not so many that you’re bombarded with music(take a hint Guy Richie).

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  SHOCKING.BUT A GUY GETS 1 BULLET AND DIES IN 10 SECONDS,A WOMAN GETS ABOUT 20 AND LIVES ABOUT 3 MINUTES.

83 – Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Run Away!

Run Away!

It’s good to see an outragous comedy this far up the list.It just goes to show that great comedic writing can trump over massive visual effects of A-List celebs.I knew up watching Monty Python so i’m accustomed to their style of sureal humour and The Holy Grail is no exception.From the very beginning the film’s laden with jokes.Even the title credits are a joke.I thought i had downloaded a version with Swedish subs hardcoded onto the film.Chapman takes the lead again in this Python film.I think it’s better this way,it gives the other guys more characters and jokes to play out.The outline of the plot is King Arthur is looking for the holy grail with his knights of the round table.That’s the basic plot,not mentioning all the other stuff that happens in between.Directed by Gilliam and Jones i think they did a good job.The quality of the actual image is poor.This is coming from seeing some silent films with a crisp sharp image.While as this looks like it was filmed wtih a potato.It’s a good laugh either way.The joke at the end where there’s no rolling credits is good,see how long a cinema goer will sit there looking at a black screen before they realise they’ve been had.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.2
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GREAT BRITISH SURREAL COMEDY.

84 – Braveheart (1995)

You may take our lives,but you'll never take our facepaint.OUR FACEPAINT!

You may take our lives,but you’ll never take our facepaint.OUR FACEPAINT!

When i seen Braveheart was coming up on the list i was a bit excited.It’s been about 11 years since i last saw it so it’s been a good age between viewings.I was thinking throughtout the film ‘how historically accurate is Braveheart?’.I have no knowledge of Scottish history so i have to take it at face value.I think Braveheart was one of them ‘2 films in the same year with similar plots’.It happens al the time.Hollywood gets a good script and someone passes on it and then another studio tries to race it and put a similar script together and get it out before the other one.The other film i’m talking about here is Rob Roy.There’s tons more like this: Antz and A Bugs Life,Deep Impact and Armageddon,Braveheart is a lot more brutal than i remember,i thought it was a amily drama you could watch on Sunday at lunch time with your parents.Definitely not.I seen a guy get decapitated,three guys get de-limbed.Mel gets one guys leg ala black knight in Pythons Holy Grain.If you don’t know the plot,it’s about the Scotish/English war circa 1280.It’s a good film.In the battle scenes Gibson pulls off the crazy scotsman with that look in his eye.I think this is all down to Gibson himself being nuttier than a squirrels shit.The last scene is the only one that grinded my gears.The guy that set Wallace up and was in allegience with the English is now leading the SCottish?Bollox.The lack of title credits makes the viewer less concious that they’re watching a film.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.1
SEEN BEFORE     –    YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     – GOOD.AN AUSTRALIAN AMERICAN PLAYING A SCOTTISH REVOLUTIONARY.

 

85 – Singin’ in the Rain (1952)

Double cream pie.Try googleing that one.

Double cream pie.Try googleing that one.

At the title credits it says the film was inspired by a song.Well it’s not the worst thing to inspire a film considering Pirates of The Caribbean was inspired by a Disney World roller-coaster.There’s quite a few songs is this.Not really my thing,sometimes just 30 seconds between songs,but the tap dancing and routines are well choreographed and look great.Some long shots between cuts too.The plot seems very similar to The Artist;talking movies are just coming into fashion and the old silent actors are getting laughed out of the cinema.Mostly because the technology is new to them and little sounds are amplified,also a big name actress has a funny voice too.Then just like The Artist they decide chance their style and do big musical and dance sequences instead. Because the female lead has a terrible voice they over-dub hers with a no name actress who has a good voice.The female lead then wants to blackmail the producer into using her voice for overdubbing every film with out giving her credit.As you can guess everyone finds out in the end.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  MUSICALS AREN’T FOR ME.BUT IT’S WORTH IF FOR A COUPLE OF THE DANCE SEQUENCES.

86 – Oldboy (2003)

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.Weep and you weep alone.

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you.Weep and you weep alone.

For anyone who hasn’t seen Oldboy I’ll describe it simply.If you ever watched Big Brother it’s quite similar.But while one lasts about 60 days in Oldboy the guy is locked up for 15 years.Also while one is psychological and sadistic the other is a Korean film. Oldboy is about this guy in his 20’s who gets kidnapped one night while drunk.He’s then locked in a room for 15 years with no human contact.He doesn’t know why or who put him there but when he gets released he sets about finding out.There’s some great camera work and the whole look of the film is excellent.Even the animated title credits look great.As he tries to find out who put him there he has to beat up a lot of people.These fight scenes are something else.The single shot corridor fight sequence is one to look out for.In the end he finds out how and why and it’s a bit of a twist.But i will say something,the final scene where he gets hypnotised he’s a bit selfish and could have hypnotised to alter his memory in another way.If you watch it you’ll know what i mean.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.6
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  A CORKER.THERE WAS 2 SCENES THAT MAKE ME CRINGE,DENTIST AND TONGUE CUTTING.

87 – Some Like It Hot (1959)

Marilyn Manson wears this dress where it looks like there's no top to it and her tits are hanging out.

Marilyn Manson wears this dress where it looks like there’s no top to it and her tits are hanging out.

Some like it hot is a rom/com with Marilyn Monroe as the supporting actress.Not a bad fim over all,some great jokes and Lemmon is spot on.It’s set during the prohibition in Chicago in 1939 i think.There’s a scene at the beginning that i completely forgot about where there’s a high speed chase involving a coffin full of whiskey that gets shot up.For a few minutes i thought maybe there was two films called Some Like it Hot.The two main characters witness a gang executing about 6 guys from a rival gang who ratted him out to the cops and got his speak easy shut down.The guys then go on the run to Florida.The guys are musicians and dress as women to join the band in Florida.One of the guys falls in love with the singer/ukelele player (Monroe) and there’s a lot of clothes switching and hi-jinks ala Mrs. Doubtfire.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  WELL WRITTEN AND CLEVERLY EDITED IN PARTS.

88 – Amadeus (1984)

There's not many tits in this Mozart biopic,but i think i screen grabbed  the best ones.

There’s not many tits in this Mozart biopic,but i think i screen grabbed the best ones.

Amadeus is a semi-biographic of Mozart.It’s by no means a Hollywood epic,it’s full of D-List celebs,some from the theatre and a couple of Thespians thrown in the mix too.It must be somewhat accurate because there’s quite a lot of Mozart’s music in it.But then again there’s the copyright issue and he’s dead so maybe anyone can use it.On the whole it’s a good film if you can get over the initial American accents of Mozart and his girlfriend/wife’s.I’d heard of Amadeus but never seen it,it’s a 3 hour trip but i don’t think it’s long when you’re watching it.There are a few opera scenes where the music gets a bit too much for me personally but besides that it’s spot on.Mozarts laughcracks me up.It a good show.Good make up and wardrobe too.The story is told via flash back and the old man version looks realistic.Now that i mention that i do have one beef to make.In the beginning Salieri when he’s a kid compares himself to Mozart and says all he wanted to be like was like Mozart and Mozart inspired him to be a musician,rubbish,there’s about 20 years between them.How could a 6 year old inspire a 12 year old when there’s 20 years between them.Watch the film and see. Salieri wishes his father dead so he can play piano like Mozart who,technically,shouldn’t whoa whao whao , hold the boat…   …i just wikipediaed them and there’s only 6 years between them.Good casting guys.Not.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  THE STARTS A BIT BAD BUT ONCE YOU GET INTO IT….

89 – Metropolis (1927)

Hello,is that 11811?Yeah can i get the number for Dominos Pizza in Letterkenny?Cheers

Hello,is that 11811?Yeah can i get the number for Dominos Pizza in Letterkenny?Cheers

Fuck i hate Metropolis so bad.I had to watch it in college and my lecturer was rabbiting on about this that and the other,but it’s tribe.This copy I’ve downloaded had some additional text at the beginning stating that the film was constructed from various sources of original negatives and that about a quarter or it had been lost or destroyed.Good.If only three quarters had been destroyed and one remained.If you’re having trouble sleeping then I’d recommend this film.After 7-8 minutes,every time i put this on i fall asleep.Anyone who can sit through this two hour long silent film which doesn’t have an ending needs to get their head examined.The plot can be simple or excessively complex depending on who you ask,but ill give you a run down of it.A hot shot build a big city,the workers live underground,his wife dies birthing his son,a mad scientist make a robot that looks like she was made out of old beer cans and some car parts.The scientist said something that caught my eye “give me 24 hours and no one will be able to tell the difference between a man and a robot man”.Bullshit,what’s he going to do in 24 hours?Put a hat and a trench coat on it?Fuck me it took him over 20 years to build that tin monstrosity ,i don’t think he’ll do much more in 24 hours.But with the use of a few wires and neon lights he manages to put the robot inside of a chick,or put her skin on it.It all doesn’t make sense one bit.Visually there’s some nice large set pieces but that’s all i can say about it.If you fancy having a look at a Metropolis remake I’d go for the 2001 Anime version.The Simon & Garfunkel track near the end in haunting.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    2.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR~POKE YOUR EYES OUT BEFORE WATCHING.

90 – Rashômon (1950)

You did?I just open up Chrome and start up a Private Window and do some Googleing.

You did?I just open up Chrome and start up a Private Window and do some Googleing.

Rashômon is the name of a city in Japan that’s a bit wrecked from wars and fighting.At the gates there are 3 men sheltering from the rain.It’s bucketing down,real heavy stuff.Two of the guys were just at a trail as witnesses,the third guy is a stranger to them.The trial is for a Samurai that was found dead in the woods and I’m going to use the word Samurai as loosely as possible because this guy is useless. Anyways there are 4 people testifying at the trail with their sides of the story.Each one different form the last.Even the guy who was killed gets a chance to testify via the medium of a medium.Like when Sam jumps into Rita body in Ghost.All the stories stink to high heaven and it seems like not one of them could lie right in bed.The films works well with all the different stories and parts that are a little similar,but the overall message the director is getting across is everyone looks out for number one and everyone lies.There’s quite a bit of maniacal laughter in this film,so if that kind of stuff scares you then I’d give it a miss.

IMDB RATING      –     8.3
MY RATING     –    7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD FOR A FILMS THAT’S OVER 60 YEARS OLD.