124 – Avengers Assemble (2012)

Nick Fury with his bluetooth headset hanging off his ear.Okay we can make a naval airship fly and turn it invisable but we still have these garish things on our ears?Bullshit.

Nick Fury with his bluetooth headset hanging off his ear.Okay we can make a naval airship fly and turn it invisible but we still have these garish things on our ears?Bullshit.

The first time i watched this i slated it as shit.Now on a second viewing i think it’s not too bad.That could down to when i seen it in the cinema we had the last two available seats in the cinema,which were front row and extreme left.So the picture was warped.Then there was this 20 something woman beside me who kept looking at her phone,either to check the time or to look at the wallpaper of her dog on it.Then to make things worse she takes out a bottle of hand cream half way through and starts to moisturise her hands.WTF.If you don’t want to be there then fuck off and let the people who watch the film enjoy it in peace.Okay,deep breaths.Captain america has some great one liners in this,that’s not to say iron man doesn’t but his are more subtle and delivered in a more normal tone.Not a bad film,CGI was a bit dodgey in parts but what can you expect when you’re trying to make aliens and whole cities.One point i did notice was about 1 hour 40 in where Scarlett tries to run about 10 steps but her ass is so big she waddles super slow.I find it hard to believe a super assassin with all her jumping and shit can’t even run.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  A GOOD WASTE OF A COUPLE OF HOURS.THERE’S A BIT AFTER THE CREDITS TOO.

125 – Wild Strawberries (1957)

Get the vodka i'm fucking parched.

Get the vodka i’m fucking parched.

Wild Strawberries is a German,i think,film about a doctor who is on his way to receive an honorary award for 50 years service. Essentially  it’s a road trip movie,its him and his sons wife in the car initially but they pick up 3 young ones and then a further two more who they boot out of the car for being dicks.But throughout the trip the doctors life is shown with flashbacks and some weird dream sequences.We see that he kind of regrets being cold and keeping his loved ones at a distance.But at the very beginning we see that was has intentions when he was younger.Now that he’s 75 he’s realised he has no friends or companions.Woe is me.Not a bad film overall,good for 1957.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  AN OKAY FILM BUT NOTHING SPECTACULAR.

126 – Fargo (1996)

Steve Buscemi looking a bit chipper here.

Steve Buscemi looking a bit chipper here.

Any movie fan worth his salt will have a copy of Fargo in their collection.It’s a cult classic.When the Coen brothers get it right they get it right.We see that they’ve used two actors from The Big Lebowski but they’re playing such different characters that you don’t relate the two.Fargo’s got some great dark humour and the who setting with the accents is quality too.I’ll give you a short synopsis of the plot.A car salesman owes a lot of money,we never find out what for,so he decides to stage a fake kidnapping and get the ransom money off his father in law.The kidnappers are a bit volatile and kill a few people while moving the victim,all the while a pregnant small town cop is on their trail.Well worth the watch and tons packed into the 94 minutes.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  BUSCEMI IS GOOD FOR THE HUMOUR AND STORMARE’S DEAD PAN LOOKS ARE BANG ON.

127 – The Kid (1921)

The tramp contemplates dumping the kid down a drain.

The tramp contemplates dumping the kid down a drain.

Chaplin again in a written/starring/directing credit for The Kid.Running at a more manageable 54 minutes long The Kid seems to work.The Kid has some good bits where there’s not title cards to know what they’re saying like when the two crooks discover there is a baby in the back seat of the car they stole and one turns to the other with a gun pointed at the baby’s head and mouths the words ‘will i shoot it?’.Dark and funny.The story of The Kid is a woman has a kid and has some sort of post natal depression and dumps it.The Tramp finds it and tries to off load it but there always seems to be a cop around and decides to keep it.5 years on and the two and like best buddies,running scams and splitting meals right down the middle.In the end  up the mother becomes famous for some reason and rich and finds the kid.You can guess the rest.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7.7
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  CHAPLINS GOOD AND ALL BUT I DO PREFER BUSTER KEATON.

128 – Touch of Evil (1958)

If only they'd blow this fucker up at the start of the film and not the other guy.

If only they’d blown this fucker up at the start of the film and not the other guy.

Orson Welles stars in the hot steamy pile of shit.My god this is one terrible film,from the guy who brought us Citizen Kane this is a travesty.The story is a weird one and takes about 25 minutes before you even get into it.Let me give you the gist of what it’s about.A car crossing the border from Mexico to America blows up just across the border(U.S.A) and the cops land in to see what’s the story.Meanwhile a Mexican cop and his new wife are entering the states on their honeymoon.He offers to help.The american cop is as bent as a dogs hind leg and only the Mexican can see this.While he’s helping with the car bomb case and investigating the cop his wife gets into all sorts of trouble with some ‘dope heads’ who drug her,blow “reefer” smoke on her and all other kinds of shit.Then the cops arrest her for drug charges because they can “practically smell the dope on her”.Fucking retarded.And the bad guy is some kind of Gomez Addams looking dude.I wouldn’t place this film on the top 1000.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NO
OVERALL     –  TOUCH OF EVIL?TOUCH OF SHIT MORE LIKE.

129 – Scarface (1983)

Jesus.Imagine when this hair style was an IN thing.

Jesus.Imagine when this hair style was an IN thing.

I’d never seen Scarface fully until just now and it started out so good.I was enjoying it but the more the film went on the more i began to hate Tony Montana.He’s a good bad guy and all that but he’s just such a massive douche bag.I mean really he has everything,gets the girl the power and the money but somehow it just ruins him.It could be the massive amounts of coke he’s doing that begin to warp him but i guess that’s here-say. Scarface was written by Oliver Stone and Brian De Palma directed.You really do get the 80’s theme from the film with the clothing choice disco music and  the rest.There’s also some good original music in the film too.I’ll sum up the plot for anyone who hasn’t seen it,in a nut shell it’s :a Cuban guy emigrates to American,starts small doing ‘jobs’ for a gangster,he moves up the ladder and then he’s on the top rung.No one’s untouchable so eventually he gets got.Michelle Pfeiffer looks tasty in this but she could have done with a couple of cheese burgers.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    7.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  WOULD HAVE BEEN TWICE AS GOOD WITHOUT SCARFACE IN IT.

130 – The Big Lebowski (1998)

Boom! Cup to the face!

Boom! Cup to the face!

You don’t see a lot of bowling movies.The only other one i can think of is Kingpin and there seems to be lanes in every average sized town in America.With The Big Lewbowski we have to Coen brothers tackling comedy,what they do best in my opinion,and it seems like they do like to use the same actors.Creatures of habit i guess,if you can work with an actor then i don’t see why you shouldn’t be able to use them again.Goodman in 3 films i can name off the top of my head and Turturoh in 2. I’m not a fan of Tim Burton and his limited inventory of actors though:Depp and his Bohnam Carter.If you havn’t seen TBL then go see it.It’s cult classic.

IMDB RATING      –     8.2
MY RATING     –    8.3
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –  GREAT RE-WATCH VALUE.CLASSIC