210 – Infernal Affairs (2002)

Fuck! Me car!

Fuck! Me car!

For anyone who has seen The Departed this is the original.And for the most part it’s a scene by scene remake.There are a few parts that were added to the U.S. version to make it more commercial and appealing to the general audience;few back stories , more tits , more drugs and more deaths.But trim it all away and it’s all the same.I preferred the departed but mainly because i new who was who in the beginning.The trouble with the Chinese version is the everyone looks the same so it takes a while before you recognise who’s who.If you haven’t seen The departed then see this first,wait a few weeks then watch it.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     NOT IF YOU’VE SEEN THE DEPARTED
OVERALL     –  GOOD STORY FOR A 10 YEAR OLD FILM.

211 – Ratatouille (2007)

This thumb was up my ass

This thumb was up my ass

A rat controls a guy by pulling his hair.Making him do all manner of things like cooking food and stuff.The animation is pretty good,miles ahead of Monsters Inc but i just didn’t find it funny.Not enough jokes.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     5.6
SEEN BEFORE     –    NO
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  DON’T BOTHER.

212 – The Truman Show (1998)

Wonky face like a Picasso

Wonky face like a Picasso

This film was really the stepping stone to what went on to become reality t.v. and public’s obsession with watching people do the mundane.I remember watching this one 15 years ago when it came out and thinking wow what an original story,it was even rehashed as EdTv,but as i look at it now i wouldn’t even rate it.Don’t know how it got on this list,there’s too many better movies out there.Jim Carrey has one of them shit eating smiles throughout the whole thing.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7.2
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  BIG BROTHER FIRST AIRED IN 1999,COINCIDENCE NO?

213 – Pirates of The Caribbean – The Curse of The Black Pearl (2003)

Is that Jimi Hendrix?

Is that Jimi Hendrix?

I was a bit sceptical when this film began but it grew on me.I know it’s a franchise and all that but this first one isn’t all that bad.Depp hasn’t camped it up too much in this one.The whole film reminds of an Indiana Jones film or something.And Kiera Knightley age 10 has bigger cans than Kiera Knightley age 20 in this film. Also alot more bloodshed than the later ‘Pirates’.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –    YES
OVERALL     –  NOT BAD.BUT KIERA KNIGHTLEY HAS A FACE YOU’D LOVE TO PUNCH.

214 – The Diving Bell And The Butterfly (2007)

Ghost dog ?

Ghost dog ?

This one’s about french playboy who writes for or edits Elle magazine.He’s hot shit.Then he has a wee stroke and gets that locked in syndrome.Can’t move shit but the brains fully operational.Its sad in the beginning when they have to sew up one of his eyes.There’s too many scenes of the before the accident and shots of him in a wheel chair fucked.I would have preferred if the whole film was done in the first person like the first 20 minutes of the film.I would have left in the shaving scene though,very good.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –    YES
OVERALL     –  STEPHEN HAWKINGS FINEST ROLE YET.

215 – Ip Man (2008)

someone dead

someone dead

A good Asian fighting film set against some sort of communism war background shit.I got a bit confused at one point during this film thinking it was flash forward and flash back sequences but , eh , nope it wasn’t. It’s fairly linear.In the beginning they’re rich and shit goes down the pan and ip man has to go working in the mines,but then the dirty Japs start a war and he stands up for the little guy.Good film.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7.5
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  WATCH OUT FOR THE HILARIOUS LOOKING CHINA MAN.

216 – Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows-Part 2 (2011)

hot stuff

hot stuff

I’m not going to get too much into this cluster-fuck that is Harry Potter because I’d be here all day.Even for the first 30 minutes i thought i’d downloaded the film in a foreign language.I’ve seen the first 3 films,i think,and this is number 7 so i didn’t know where the fuck i was or what was happening.It’s definitely not a part of a series you can jump in anywhere with or have a friend try and explain it to you in 5 minutes.I’m not sure if its a theme with book to film conversions for teens but the CGI looks pretty shit,same as Twilight.One point about Harry Potter is that stuff is too easy for him.He’s looking for something “where the yoke” it might be in this room,walk to that room grab it end of.Where’s the next thing?Go here and so on.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     6.4
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  I’D LET EMMA WATSON HANDLE MY WAND ANY DAY.

217 – A Streetcar Named Desire (1951)

CUNT

CUNT

This film got me pretty angry,well the first quarter of it and all because of one woman ;Blanche.She’s conceited ,vain ,narcissistic and a compulsive liar with ideas of grandeur.The films about 2 sisters raised in Mississippi.While one left and moved to New Orleans and had the craic,the other stayed at home and thinks she’s hot shit or a queen.Bitch.Turns out in the end she’s a hooker.Spoiler.Fuck you Blanche.Also she cracks up with herself,seems she can’t distinguish between her stories and reality.Brando is quality in this though.This was wrote as a play,with one set i imagine,and a few things seem off in it as a film like in one scene someone can be having a bath in one room while in the other a bomb goes off and they don’t hear it,while in another a couple are whispering in the house and it can be heard from the busy street.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     7
SEEN BEFORE     –    NO
RECOMMEND?     –     MAYBE
OVERALL     –   MARLON BRANDO IS FUCKING EXCELLENT IN THIS.SEE IT JUST FOR HIS PERFORMANCE.

218 – A Fistful Of Dollars (1964)

Graham Norton as a big gay cowboy.

Graham Norton as a big gay cowboy.

Great film.This is how westerns should be done.The film revolves around two rival family/gangs that live at opposite ends of a town that’s about the size of a basketball court.How they’ve managed to live this long without all killing each other is a mystery.Eastwoods character turns up and sets up the two gangs just to wipe them out of it and make off with the cash.Some deadly camera work,the extreme close-ups make this film.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     8.1
SEEN BEFORE     –     NO
RECOMMEND?     –     YES
OVERALL     –   SERGIO LEONE IS BANG ON WITH THIS ONE.

219 – Monsters Inc (2001)

shaved

shaved

Monsters Inc is about the trials and tribulations of members of the band Mettalica.Well not really.It’s about a world where monsters exist and supply their world with power gathered from the screams of children.Their job would have been pretty easy is they just hung around catholic churches after hours.The monsters are themselves afraid of the kids and think they’ll be contaminated and die if a kid touches them.Half way through the film they discover that a kids laughter produces 10 times more energy.Original story,early CGI and i shows.Everything is smooth,no texture.

IMDB RATING      –     8
MY RATING     –     5.6
SEEN BEFORE     –     YES
RECOMMEND?     –    NO
OVERALL     –  GOOD FOR VERY YOUNG KIDS.BOOS BABY SPEAK IS VERY ANNOYING.