Hanging with a leopard.
This one gave me a headache.I can’t see how someone could have sat through this in a cinema.Its about this fast talking scatterbrained woman and this mild mannered pushover dinosaur bone guy (Grant) and a leopard that escapes.Hi-jinks ensue.Let me save you 97 minutes of your life;they fall in love by the end and kiss.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 4
SEEN BEFORE – NO
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – BAD
Knobs
This is a Woody Allen film.I thought i didn’t like woody,i think i probably watched one of his films 15 years ago and just didn’t get his humour,but not i think it’s not so bad.Its got a few good Jew jokes.A bit self deprecating.The films about some New York hipster type intellectuals and their interaction and relationships with each other.The plot is a 42 year old guy is dating a 17 year old and dumps her to pursue another chick closer her age then changes his mind and tries to get the teenager back but it’s too late because she’s leaving for England.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 7
SEEN BEFORE – NO
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – NOT THE WORST,A FEW GOOD LINES IN IT
Stop trying to hit me and HIT ME !
I wouldn’t be a big fan of Clint Eastwood as a director but this one’s not too bad.I’m not a fan of the whole child rape aspect of Mystic River,it’s a bit depressing but once you gEt over the first scene and into the rest of the story its okay.Set in Boston Sean Penns characters daughter turns up dead and etc etc etc.I watched the credits to see if Penn had a hand in producing or something like that because i wouldn’t have cast him as the lead , but no other credit.When he gets all emotional he loses control of his voice/mouth and comes across all I AM SAM or Rainman.Check out his glasses too , very 1990.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 6
SEEN BEFORE – MAYBE
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – ONE FOR YOUR PARENTS
Kristen Stewart?How the fuck did you get in this film?
Another oldie. I’m not sure if things were well different back in 1943 but i initially wouldn’t have thought so but this film seems weird for a few reasons.This one portrays women as blithering idiots who seem content with being just another dumb woman.The relationship between uncle Charlie and his niece in the first half of the film seems creepy and unnatural.The score at the beginning is too much,you shouldn’t need a thousand strong string section to create tension where there is none.My ears were almost bleeding.The film just didn’t work for me : I was totally aware I was watching a film.A shit one at that.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 3.8
SEEN BEFORE – NO
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – NOT A GOOD SHOW
Mr. Pink
This one’s about a man who’s bitten by a radioactive fish and then turns into a big fish who runs for president.Not.Nah it’s about a man dying who’s life story is told by way of embellishments, half truths and compulsive lies.AnotherTim ~Burton film so you know its going to be a bit out there,some crap things about the film was Ewan McGregors accent.That southern drawl annoyed the crap out of me.Plus Helena Bothnam Carter playing 3 characters or 3 instances of the same charter and trying to be a love interest , with that face?Steve Buscemi delivers another spot-on performance .
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 6.5
SEEN BEFORE – YES
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – MIGHT BE GOOD FOR KIDS
“Um,excuse me,i asked for a non-smoking room”
Now this films a treat,a real gem.I don’t think this is on many peoples radar because it’s Swedish but as it’s just been remade in America,i think this year,so maybe some people will want to see the original and if i know America and it’s remakes of Euro art-house films it’ll suck (i.e. Funny Games).The story is an adaptation of a novel of the same name.Let the right one tells a tale of prepubescent love between a boy and a vampire.There’s not a lot of dialogue in this film , you could probably fit it all on the back of a beermat.And it’s the fact that it doesn’t spoon feed you that leaves you with questions at the end.When i first watched it i didn’t have a clue about the nude bit with Eli.I didn’t even twig that Eli was a boy.Sure I’m just after spoiling the film but there’s other shit i still haven’t figured out entirely yet.I’ll give it another year and re-watch it and see what i come up with then.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 8.4
SEEN BEFORE – YEAH
RECOMMEND? – OF COURSE
OVERALL – A GREAT PIECE OF FILM
P.S. notable scene: the cats hating on the old woman.
Now don’t tell your parents about this okay?
This is the first Anime on the list and it’s alright as far as they go.By no means the worst or the best one I’ve seen but right in the middle.If you haven’t guessed from the title it’s about a castle city thing floating in the sky from a race of people who died off 700 years AGO.It’s a good innocent family yearn about good and evil,no tentacle rape shit in this one.Like most 80’s films it’s got ‘a message’ and if you watch it you’ll see them strewn throughout.
One thing that confused the fuck out of me was the end credits,i had to watch to see who was doing the main girls voice because the accent went from American to Australian to proper English,it had Anna Paquin (Rogue from X-Men, who would have been 4 when she did this?! Wtf ?) ,James Van Der Beek (Dawsons Creek) ,Mark Hamill and even Andy Dick the cunt.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 6.1
SEEN BEFORE – NO
RECOMMEND? – NO
OVERALL – THERE’S BETTER ANIME OUT THERE
Indy ?
Well this was a long ‘un at two and a half hours but a good one for sure.On the whole the films about the human spirit and mans will to be free.But hey is it depressing watching a bunch of guys constantly get fucked over while trying to escape.A lot of the charters get killed after you’ve invested a lot in them and it doesn’t seem to bother the main characters too much, I guess you can’t get bogged down too much because you gotta look out for number one.Notable good scenes: the marching of the prisoners at the beginning with the cattle audio track overlay,the man collapsing and squashing a chicken and a few other ones i can’t think of at the moment.
First film with tits in it since I started the list.Illegal tits if you ask me too.Watch the film and you’ll see what I mean.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 7.3
SEEN BEFORE – YES,OVER 10 YEARS AGO
RECOMMEND? – YES
OVERALL – DESCENT,AUDIO LEVELS FLUCTUATE
monkey want a banana?
I seen this in the cinema about 2-3 weeks ago so this is the freshest film in my brain,but none the less i had another look at it.As this films a new one the best download i could get was a telesync from a cam so quality was a bit crap but audio was bang on.There’s a couple of bits in this film that i had beef with.Firstly is the first chase scene when the chick shoots Bond by mistake and he falls of the train,shit,but it takes another 12 seconds until the other guy is out of sight in the tunnel.Why didn’t she shoot him too?Sure she’s probably thinking ‘fuck i shot Bond’ but reload or take aim and finish off the other buck.Another bit i was left hanging with was the casino scene and the case with the million euro.Where the fuck did it go?I thought the black one was going to to say to him at the end “Here’s your half,i put it on red and won” but no such luck.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 6.8
SEEN BEFORE – YUP
RECOMMEND? – MAYBE
OVERALL – MEH,NOT THE WORST BOND
Can’t touch this
This is a good film.First one I’ve really watched and thought ‘shit, how’d i miss this one?’.At just under 2 hours long i was expecting some shit godfather type rubbish but this is well paced with no unnecessary filler.Some pretty good acting from James Bond himself , the good Bond not the crap one (you know who you are Roger Moore) and a stellar haircut on Kevin Costner.I noticed on the credits at the beginning that Gorgio Armani did the wardrobe/costume and credit to it.There was a couple of pitfalls in the film, notably the police chiefs poor poor Irish accent and the fact that some people can take 1 bullet to die while others can survive until after lunch next Wednesday.When i typed up this thing i had to double check the date 1987,holy fuck i thought it was a mid nineties film.
IMDB RATING – 8
MY RATING – 8.2
SEEN BEFORE – NOPE
RECOMMEND? – YES
OVERALL – EXCELLENT.
Oh yeah , i didn’t get the whole Al Capone thing.Everyone knew he was a crook.The media loved him,dozens of journos were hanging round him laughing at his jokes,and he was rolling in cash yet it took fucking ages to bust him.WTF?Nowadays the c.a.b. would take his shit and put him in jail.End of.
